#also someone else wrote a much more beautiful analysis post about how that story of teds is supposed to represent well meaning Allie’s

[poppytuft]

bothers me very much when people use Ted getting upset telling the denver broncos story as like evidence that he could be queer instead of thinking about an old friend drowning in loneliness and saying to himself “i should’ve been there i should’ve supported him” is him reflecting on his traumas, as if this is not a man who heard his dad kill himself at age 16 and carries that guilt wherever he goes. he tells EVERYONE he loves that he supports them no matter what the struggle is and colin’s struggle was internal and invisible, WHICH SCARES HIM. he’s terrified by invisible struggle and he always has been BECAUSE of that childhood trauma. so TO ME…… it reads very media illiterate to take it that way, because Ted didn’t have some tender gay experience with his denver broncos friend in the 90s, he’s haunted by knowing there was someone he loved who went through something alone (even if it was silly and minor like watching the Super Bowl alone) and doesn’t want anyone to ever feel like that again, (especially if it’s something as big as being one of two gay men in a room in an industry that hates them) let alone one of his players on the team that he has worked so hard to turn into a family!!!!!!!!!! damn!!!!!

[kiyrian]

I love how Alan Wake II is so much more House of Leaves than the original was.

The theme of authorship, of authors being characters and characters being authors. Of echoes moving in time. Of mothers who try to ready their sons for the darkness.

And love. The love that doesn't save them but makes them push forward so they can save themselves.

For anyone ready to go on this journey with me, let's go.

So in House of Leaves, we have Johnny - our main character. He finds a book left behind by a recently deceased man. We get to read this book with Johnny adding his comments. Often those comments are stories from his own life. We get to learn how he feels observed and sometimes attacked by this dark presence. The book overtakes his life. He doesn't feel safe, he isolates himself from everyone. I see this part as what we can see in AW 1

It could be a simple story of being driven to madness by knowledge. Only Johnny admits that he is changing the original contents of the book. He outright says it with a not-that-important detail, but it makes us wonder - is he changing anything else? Are the parts that have been scratched out (!) done by Johnny or the previous owner of the book - Zampano. And here starts the journey explored in AW2.

But is Zampano even real? After all, Johnny also lies about the stories from his life (also a thing he admits to us). At the end of the book, we can read letters that Johnny's mother wrote to him when he was a teenager. He grew up with a foster family as his mom stayed in a mental hospital and his father died. His mom was hospitalized because of schizophrenia - in her letters, we can see her mental health fluctuating from better to worse, up until she commits suicide. During one of her episodes, she created a code she could use to communicate with her son without the hospital staff knowing. A code that can be also found in Zampano's book. There are other signs alluding to Johnny's mom in parts supposedly written by Zampano. So maybe it's not Zampano who is not real. Maybe it is Johnny. Maybe this is all written by a man who imagines someone finding his writing and commenting on it? Who created who?? An echo traveling back in time to change the future - a phone call from yourself that haven't happened yet. An author who writes a story with a poet in it. A poet who wrote poems about a boy who will come and continue his battle. A movie maker who may be a poet but isn't.

Johnny's mom tried to ready her son to face the world. She tried to show him the beauty of words, of reading and learning. She was always in his corner, ready to give him words of support to her best abilities. She told him the world may be hard but he is special and he will beat the odds. A mother that knows her son fears the dark so she gives him a light switch.

Okay. Fine. But what is actually Zampano's book about. A family of four moves into a new home - a photo journalist and his wife with their two young children. Only that this House is a little weird. It is bigger on the inside. Its hallway keeps on growing until a whole new area can be found. More and more dark corridors sprawl in this space that shouldn't be. Will Navidson - the photographer - travels through this space trying to document it. At a certain point, his wife takes their children and moves away. But Will is obsessed with this place - it is his journey to face his own demons. He feels so much guilt for only being there to photograph tragedies without helping people who suffered. (an analysis of his character could take another whole post). He goes deeper and deeper into the house, down a spiraling staircase, up until he fully loses a way out. He is stuck, no way out, waiting to die. Only... his wife hasn't given up on him. For all their problems (the house move was supposed to give their marriage a new chance) she still loves him. She creates a movie solely dedicated to the happy moments they've had together. She goes back to this haunted house and tries to find him. And just like that a way back for him opens. He crawls back from the darkness. His wife's love made her go back to face her own fears (she's feared the dark for a very long time). Husband and wife who struggle but still love each other. Who survive after facing the dark, facing their demons. Who pull themselves out of depths of despair. Wives who take time to memorize those happy moments since they know the men they love are more than their worst moments (more of AW AN moment).

I am doing a great disservice to House of Leaves (and AW2) by trying to sum it up in those few points so please, please read it if you haven't. But I want to show those points that I can see reflected in AW2. Besides, of course once again using Poe's song (sister of the author of House of Leaves who did an album accompanying the book. Haunted from that album was used in AW1). And the motif of Yggdrasil at the end of the book.

There are probably so many things I am forgetting. I need to reread this book. It's this time of the year again.

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Hello. I am wondering why you start liking Takeomi. He is the most hated character by the fandom and your choice of wet soggy cat is very unique. I want to listen your ramblings.

Oh anon, if only I knew

I'll try to remember how it happened, that much I think I got it.

So, when I first got into TR, my mind mostly focused on Mitsuya and the Shiba (mostly Taiju), so much so that I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I ever will on Taiju and explaining where his behavior comes from

Because it seems like a lot of people missed some important information. And by doing that I was able to show them details they had missed (prove that I was right in previous posts where I didn't justified myself and basically got called a liar by someone in the notes which incredibly pissed me off-) and, although that doesn't excuse what Taiju did, it does explain it and makes him more.. real? Maybe not relatable, but his domestic abuse didn't pop up out of nowhere and a lot of people know what intergenerational trauma can do so while still hating Taiju they could understand him better.

Then, having finished my Taiju analysis which also opened my eyes since I found more than what I initially thought about; I myself was able to understand him better and so I thought-

Why not do that with every hated characters in the fandom?

I don't quite recall if my (at the time, very slight) interest in Takeomi happened a bit before or at that time, but the reason why I focused on him before the others (which, uh, aren't a lot anyway) was because I saw stuffs written about him which I didn't really agree with? Like, yeah, he was flawed and raised his siblings badly - especially when next to Shinichiro who was (at least depicted as)(and try to be) good at it - but they were kinda amplifying things

I know that a lot of people relate to Sanzu, or just, love him, and since they saw things I haven't seen, I told myself 'well, let's investigate, then' and then I wrote about 17k words on Takeomi's psychology.

I literally walked myself into the Takeomi rabbit-hole (what a FUCKING mistake /positive)

Takeomi did neglect his siblings, and passive-aggressively verbally, or even emotionally, abused Sanzu and for most of the fandom, is not attractive (and, let's not lie, beauty is a redeeming quality for a lot of characters regardless of fandom. How many characters, no matter their faults, get forgiven by fans just because they're hot, uh?). So he sucks, yeah

You know what he did do? acknowledged his mistakes, apologized for them and would have started his redemption arc if Wakui had had the time for that when warping up the story

He made mistakes, he's flawed, he's human, he wasn't even supposed to be here because he only entered the delinquent world to keep following Shinichiro, his ego which was back then very weak and non-existent got inflated for either survival or because he received so many compliments he didn't know what to do with it if not both because he was a k i d.

Most of the characters in TR are kids or young adults when they commit things they shouldn't have done. And yes, you can hold them accountable for it but they didn't know better - they didn't have the tools to

Now, why do I like Takeomi.

First of all - the amount of flaws he has. Don't think I need to make the list, I think everyone's got it (although make sure to remember he's got an inferiority complex and it's most likely that he also has an imposter syndrome so he's just like me fr-). But even with that, he's never an antagonist. He does things wrong but he's on our side (he's just very deaf to anyone's opinion that doesn't fit his). He sucked at raising his siblings as a kid himself (before his superiority complex developed and during it too - albeit in different ways) but that's just.. realistic? Not that it takes away the seriousness of it and the consequences, but how else could it have been? The impact on Sanzu were disastrous (not that they were the only reason why Sanzu lost it), I understand that, I don't erase that nor deny it BUT THERE'S A REASON WHY TAKEOMI IS LIKE THIS, TOO. And if people blame Takeomi for his actions (which, again, fair.) then blame Sanzu for his!! he was willing to mass murder hundreds of people!!! including his sister!!! he killed a few people!! argh. But Sanzu got his tragic-backstory/childhood shown and has a design that appeals to most, so I guess it's harder to hold him accountable for the seriousness of his actions (I like Sanzu, don't get me wrong. But sometimes the hypocrisy of some fans makes me a tiny bit angry 🙃)

Anyway, reason 84123286 of why I need Takeomi's backstory. Bc, honestly, from what we know of him as a kid+his coping mechanisms as a teen/adult, it would make sense to me if one of the reason he was so hostile to Sanzu was because he saw himself in him and Didn't Like ItTM (for different reasons) (!!! Which would add nicely to Shinichiro seeing himself in Mikey!!! more sano-akashi parallels, lets goooooooo) Talking about the parallels between the two, the fact he's Shinichiro's narrative foil compels me lots. Takeomi is quite literally Shinichiro with a negative filter on. And how can he survived that? How can he cope with the fact that no matter how much he wants and tries to be Shinichiro he'd never succeed? He'd always be the pale copy, the wood statue covered with golden leaves that are peeling away with time next to the pure gold statue. The Teru Teru Bozu that fails to chase the rain away and is going to be decapitated for his ineptitude. He'd always be himself and that's what he hates the most. He'd always be compared to Shinichiro and there's nothing he can do about it. And he can't even be angry at Shinichiro. That's his best friend. He loves him. He has been the first to love him. He has been there before anyone else. He can't lose Shinichiro, Shinichiro gave him everything. Everything he cares about, he sees value of, at least. Immaculate.

I'll also die on the hill that he is competent. He himself has no idea on what but he is (he mixes everything. For him it'd go like this: he gets praised but he's done nothing, Shinichiro has done everything which means they praised him for what Shinichiro has done. Which means what Shinichiro do, he does too. Which means Shinichiro's achievements are his as well! right? He didn't do anything by himself, there's no need to praise him for something else.)(he's fully blind that strategically-speaking and in other brainy-brain domains he's competent af. Bc since it comes 'easily' to him - since he doesn't struggle much with it, or in contrary he struggles so much he cannot possibly be good at it, then there's nothing to praise. And like, for him what Shinichiro does deserve to be praised. What he himself does is just.. things he does so compliments feel shallow)(+Bonten strives as much as Bad Toman and Manila if not more, yet there's no Kisaki. Ofc there's still Koko so that helps, but Takeomi is new to the team and got recruited (at least that what Senju said) in Brahman for his ~wisdom~)

He's also the only character who was around before Shinichiro 1) became a big brother 2) became a delinquent and that has to mean something. They're the only ones left to remember how the other was before their life went to shit

In the final timeline, he looks so healthy. He made peace with himself, his relationship with his siblings is good, he made amends. He healed, they healed. His relationship with Shinichiro, Benkei and Wakasa is good too everything's great. He learnt to understand what he is competent in and focus on it; he's not Shinichiro, he'll never be and that's okay. He's him and what he is complete Shinichiro just as Shinichiro complete him – they take care of one another's flaws but can also know live independently from each other. Perhaps, perhaps Takeomi stopped being so dependent of him

Appearance-wise, I love dark hair+green eyes combo in general so it wasn't that hard (plus there are some godly fanarts out there)

And of course: despite his complexity, at the end of the day - he's really just a pathetic wet poor excuse of a man who can't do anything right and isn't that endearing

I'm slowly getting out of the denial-phase to enter my acceptance-phase when it comes to loving Takeomi. Liking things most people hate or are neutral about is smth I hate for Reasons but it also seems to always happen lolololol. Will try to talk more about Takeomi when it comes to my mind, in case ppl who also love him but don't want to make it known because of his bad reputation in the fandom saw my posts and feel a bit more okay and comfortable with loving him

[the-blue-fairie]

hey, no worries at all about venting in the tags of... your reblog of my reblog of your post, lol!! as i mentioned, i was trying to find a completely different old post by someone else, and then ended up seeing your post in my search and i just feel that it's a great explanation of some of the issues that i have with the ending. i can totally understand why people who like the idea behind the ending and what the writers were trying to say with it want to defend it, to an extent, but i agree with you that they just didn't successfully say that. which only makes me more frustrated with the ending than i imagine i would've been otherwise. and i'm sorry people have been trying to group you in with frozen 2 haters when you didn't want to be seen that way! and to me, the posts of yours that i've read about the movie (including the one i reblogged that prompted this ask) never came off that way either. you always seemed like someone who had your issues with it and criticisms of it, but could also still see positives in it and things to celebrate about it.

Thank you for sending me this message. I apologize for not replying for a day; life got a bit busy.

Looking back on my old discussions of F2, I feel I was hamstrung by not wanting to make my friends angry. I have friends who are fans of F2 and, while I wrote those posts, I was cripplingly scared that they would stop being friends with me, or unfollow me, or dismiss my critiques as mere negativity. In fact, my fears were justified. Some of these people DID unfollow me and DID tell me I was being overwhelmingly negative. This broke my heart - especially because I spilled so much ink trying to balance every negative I discussed with a positive and celebrating the good elements, but it felt like it didn't matter. It didn't matter how anxious I was to be understood, it didn't matter that I was writing in good faith. And that hurt.

I also feel that I was intimidated by the extreme sides of the fandom. If, for example, I wrote a post criticizing Elsa's arc, anti-Elsa people could jump on it and say, "See, this is why Elsa is a bad sister."

So that's why, in my vent, I said I was too kind to the film. I was so constricted by being terrified of other people's reactions - terrified of having an unpopular opinion. So I qualified all my statements with, "Of course, I don't mean to be overly negative" instead of just focusing on my points.

I just want to shake people sometimes when they tell me the point of the film and say, "They followed through on their intent with very poor execution. They DIDN'T DO the things you are saying they did. They tried, but there are scores of reasons why they did not succeed - reasons that go beyond my personal preference, that have to do with characterization, pacing, story structure, etc."

It hurts because... I feel like, in the past, I tried to force myself to like the film more than I do. I've wanted to like it for years, but the last time I put it on I broke down crying and not in a good way and I just... I wish it worked. I wish that all the various thematic threads coalesced into an emotionally satisfying whole. And I know that, because of my emotional response, people might just dismiss all my discussion - no matter how nuanced I am, no matter how fair towards the film I am in my analysis, as, "Well, you're biased from the start."

No. I've spent years trying to see all sides, empathizing with a variety of people in the fandom, sometimes even at my own expense. I do value the parts of F2 that work and acknowledge the beauty of various elements including Anna and Elsa bonding with the Northuldra, the anticolonialist themes, The Next Right Thing, and more.

But at the same time, I argue that my case against other aspects of the film is robust, cohesive, and correct.

And to the friends that can see I am writing not to be a hater, but in good faith with actual analysis and discussion in mind - you mean the world to me. Thank you.

Sorry, this became kind of a vent in itself.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

perfect now - a close reading

only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries 

some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure

((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))

⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel​ ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive

SUMMARY

you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb

what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in

never gonna dance again frenzy

identity 

louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3

walls, track 10

～ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities

I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you

“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is

i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective

～ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you” 

～ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”

～ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”

On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance

when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”

“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you

“given half the chance” 

～ tpwk “giving/given second chances”

given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up

term of endearment <3 

～ dlibyh

this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me 

Don’t hide away, don’t ever change

“be happy, proud”

～ “just hold on”

“pick someone who’s supportive”

Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away

don’t look away from me

～ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”

Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my

they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own

could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene

～ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”

I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now

“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply 

they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it

gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)

～ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!

～ falling

～ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”

You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you

“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true

Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone 

Good to you even at your worst

～ always you

i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more

～ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second) 

～ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you

You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed

reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance

L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them

Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away

“it’s hard to miss”

L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong

～ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”

SYNTHESIS

Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song. 

As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway 

basically through the dark’s chorus:

Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark

It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.

I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel​ ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...

Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.

Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.

Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song. 

What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying

It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Tae’s IG Story song (analysis/discussion)

First I’d like to just talk about the song as...song without getting into the lyrics. It’s a beautiful song with an airy, driving song vibe to it, much more upbeat than what we’ve previously heard from Tae within and outside of BTS’ music, but at the same time it sounds very much like a song he would make and sing, still having that sense of calm, warm and comforting to it. His voice is a dream, the richness and depth of it being showcased so beautifully and allowing him to sing in a range that feels more natural to his baritone vocal. Sound wise, especially the instrumental, gives me sort of a similar feeling to the sound of the entirety of Troye Sivan’s debut album, Blue Neighborhood, which, in a way, could explain his sudden recommendation of a Troye song some time before he posted his song in his story (though that Troye song was far more recent than Blue Neighborhood, so I might be reaching).

But we’re not really here to talk about the song in such a way, right, instead we’re here to have a look at the lyrics and see why every vminnie ever just sat there crying on sns because the song just sounds so vmin. And yes, I agree that we shouldn’t try and make every song Tae writes and shows us about his bond with Jimin, but in this case there are just too many reasons that point in that direction for me to ignore it, or to think that it’s just a coincidence that could easily be dismissed. There are no coincidences with lyrics, not with someone like Tae who puts so much thought and care into the music he makes and the lyrics he writes. 

If an “analysis”/discussion from such a standpoint isn’t your cup of tea, that’s fine, I guess we’ll read each other again next time, for everyone else, let’s get into it!

I think it’s important to mention that Tae said that he wrote this song a while ago which leads us to wonder if perhaps this may be the song he said that’s like 4 O’Clock but better. Yes, he mentioned how he’d deleted all the songs he had for his mixtape but this one might’ve survived the purge? So, if we look at this song from a vmin lens, I think it’s rather clear that this song isn’t a pining one (not a pre-relationship one) but rather what would happen much later down the road after Sweet Night, as in the speaker getting their second chance and things working out for the speaker and the spoken to (therefore them having an established relationship instead).

Travel with me Don’t you want to get away? Don’t you want to run away? I can take you anywhere Ride with me anywhere/anyway

If you have a car you can, theoretically, take someone wherever you’d like, and from their stories, as well as Friends, we know that Tae and Jimin like going on rides together at night, thus travel around (at least) the city and have a moment of play pretend, of getting away, of being just them. It reminds me of how during the early years they would sneak out at night without telling anyone (thus get away) to spend time together at the nearby park/playground. They’ve also mentioned how they would like to travel together but for now that isn’t possible, more of a dream they can look forward to fulfilling one day, because they are who they are and other reasons.

4 am in the night Sunrise is on the way Just take a hold of me Cause I’m ready

4 am is universally known as the vmin hour by basically everyone within ARMY, because of the dumpling incident as well as because of 4 O’Clock and Tae telling us last year that the song is about him and Jimin. He could’ve mentioned any time, he could’ve also not specified any time at all, and yet he chose this one, specifically.

4 O’Clock also mentions dawn, the time between 4 am and when sunrise arrives. But unlike in 4 O’Clock where sunrise signifies the end of that blue moment shared between them, here Tae sings about holding on and being ready meaning that sunrise and the passing of that blue hour has no effect anymore, that what they have doesn’t fade away because he’s ready. For their love, for everything that their relationship entails, that even sunrise can’t scare him away anymore.

And the light will guide us to a million stars My love, just hold my hand And the end is you and I, and the clouds will disappear So hold on tight

With this I couldn’t help but think of the picture Tae posted on twt of him beneath the starry sky over Hawaii, and of how, years prior, Jimin and Tae spent every night during BV2 watching the stars together. It’s something they love, and something they enjoy doing together, a shared moment. But there’s also the connection that can be drawn to Friends, how one is from the moon and the other from the stars, both part of the night sky, as well as Jimin associating Tae with Standing Egg’s Little Star years prior.

And here, just like in the prior passage, Tae is asking him to hold on tight, that they are it (the end if you and I), a unit of sorts, and that they can basically make it through any challenge (the clouds will disappear).

Holding hands is also a very vmin thing, ARMY even making jokes and keeping track for fun of how many times vmin find some kind of reason to hold hands in near any BTS content simply just because. It doesn’t even seem like they need a reason, it’s just something they do.

And in the air, I wanna show you a happiness And show you all my colors to you Just tell me you love me then I could give everything And that will be the best part of me

For years they’ve said how all they wish for when it comes to the other is for them to be happy, as well as Jimin saying that Tae is the happiest when he is with him. So perhaps it was Tae’s “turn” to show him that he can also be the happiest when they are together, a sort of happiness that they can only have when they’re together.

Show you all my colors to me sounds like both a callback to 4 O’Clock and the mention of blue in it, but also an expansion on it, that he wants to show him every side of himself, every shade and nuance, and not hide anything anymore. That it’s enough if he assures/reminds him that he loves him and then he’ll be able to give him all of him, all of everything, and that once that happens, it will become the best part of himself, the one that loves him in such a way and is able to be honest and genuine about it without holding back. That sort of thing takes courage but also immense trust, and after everything they’ve went through and all the years they’ve known each other, it seems like that “threshold” was reached long ago. Besides in Friends they sing about knowing each others everything and being each others mystery.

Shake my hand let’s promise When the heart misses one another Talking about “are we gonna make it?” I love you it’s so easy This song is that, that you ever wanted (?) I’m gonna pray a prayer, you show me baby

Again, just like the hand holding, the handshakes are also very vmin, as well as their habit to make lots of promises, small trivial ones and big weighted meaningful ones, just like they sing about it in Friends (Seven summers and cold winters /and more to come / Many promises and memories / and more to come). We’ve seen them do pinky promises many times across the years, one of the more recent examples coming to mind being during ITS1 while they were in the car and Tae promised Jimin to write him a song. 

Besides, back during Let’s BTS Tae mentioned how he doesn’t get to/doesn’t say it often (or what he would deem often enough) and thus wanted to use his chance to very publicly remind everyone, including Jimin, that he is the person he likes most. He’s his person, the one he chose and with whom he worked so hard on forming this kind of beautiful soulmate bond that they have (because yes, relationships take work and care, aren’t just a thing that happens and stays on its own). And we know from the past that Jimin likes to be reassured (likes to be loved) and can get a little jealous/possessive (as per his own words back in 2019) so a song as romantic and dripping of love as this one, what better reminder could anyone ask for?

Are we gonna make it in this case shouldn’t be taken as doubt or uncertainty but rather a very adult question to ask, especially in their situation as both idols and two people living where they do. But keeping in mind the way the sound sounds, so positive, and how the lyrics sound, the answer to that question seems fairly obviously to be yes, we will. It’s a reassurance and not doubt, like when you’re working on turning a plan into reality and ask the person you’re working with that “we’ll make it, right?”. It’s a good and healthy thing.

Looking at this song, looking at everything we’ve seen of vmin across 2021, there is no doubt in my mind that they are in a good place, their bond as stable and as strong as ever, or even stronger than ever before, and their love so beautiful and clear.

As for the video, I think it’d be worth noting that it was taken during the day, a relatively sunny one despite the clouds, with the camera in the passenger seat (Tae in a Mustang convertible with his hair flying in the wind, what an absolute vision). Perhaps it really was as Tae said, he played the song because the mood was right, but on another level it could just as well play into the whole theme of the song, of being brave and showing your love, that they can be with each other and hold on to each other not just at 4 O’Clock but any time, even out in the daylight.

From anon: Do you think T/K are doing this cause a subunit is coming & to show they arent hidden? And do you think V saw the hate against JM & T/K/K losing their minds so he was like here, have another Vmin song? I might be stupid & biased but the song has Vmin written all over it. I think Vs making it clear JMs the one he loves, while also promoting his subunit with JK coming. Or do I sound stupid? 4 am? Stars? Promise? Hold my hand? Hello? Vmins specialty. How can I not think of JM with Vs lyrics? Do y’all?

I’d say I’ve answered the second half of this ask above, so I’ll instead focus on the first half. With Tae and JK and them posting selcas together on their respective IG accounts, I think it’s a great way to build up “hype” (like anyone in BTS needs to create hype lol) for an upcoming subunit. With how much they’ve mentioned working on music together, and now with their posts, that seems pretty obvious and, to be honest, I’m excited for it. And also very curious what a Tae and JK subunit song might sound like, in which direction they would go, etc.

As for the hate against Jimin, that is a very misguided side effect of shipping and one we see every time one of the XKook ships gets “braver”, or feels more “confirmed” in their believes due to whatever (sometimes it’s due to the most trivial things, and sometimes just because), and thus concludes that “hm....well, I see the other ship as competition which means the second part of the other ship (in this case Jimin) is an issue so I must go and be a f*cking idiot about it”. The same thing also happens when the other XKook ship feels brave. Currently I’ve even seen XKookers throw JK under the bus because “how can he do this to Jimin?”. It does make me wonder what exactly happens in their heads, and if anything does at all. Do they really think that if Tae and JK were together, and Jimin were “interfering” (or whatever idiocy they’ve come up with this time), they couldn’t be adults about it and talk to him themselves? That they don’t need a slue of misguided idiots online to do it for them?

I don’t think there’s a connection between the Jimin hate and Tae deciding to post the song to his IG story though, especially since the video was filmed way before we got here.

What this situation shows us, for the millionth time, is what I’ve always thought: many shippers (especially the hardcore believer/supporter variety) aren’t here primarily for BTS’ music and them as a group and for shipping as a secondary fun thing, but rather their priority lies solely within their ship and proving that they are right and everyone else is wrong. Seeing XKookers have a meltdown whenever the other pairing posts anything, it’s a fairly good indicator of this being the case. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times more: shipping is supposed to be fun, but the moment you reach a level where you develop hate against other members because of your ship and their fantastical warped version that exists in your head (and within your ship fandom), that’s when you’ve gone way too far and need to seriously take a step back and reevaluate what you’re doing.

[ackermom]

An Unhinged Analysis of Armin’s Martyr Complex

Author’s Note

I haven’t written a paper since I was in college, but writing this gave me the urge to bust out Kate L. Turabian’s Manual for Writers of Research Papers, Theses, and Dissertations (8th edition). Be warned, I did not, so the academic integrity herein is about as secure as a slip’n’slide. I wrote this manically from memory in four hours without fact checking, except to confirm chapter numbers and source manga panels. It’s also worth saying that I don’t read much meta, so if someone has written something like this before, I apologize for cramping your style. The nature of humanity is just that every so often someone reinvents Armin’s victim complex.

Introduction

So I’ve been thinking a lot about Armin’s character and his— frankly bland— development post-time skip. I think a lot of that can be pinned to the same inconsistent writing that plagues the last thirty-odd chapters of the manga. Isayama wanted to get to his onsen as fast as possible.

But I’ve begun to form this interpretation about Armin’s post-time skip character, because I’ve struggled with some of these questions, as I think others have too: 1) why does he allow Eren to move forward without strong opposition? 2) why can’t he quite grapple with the consequences of his actions and inactions? 3) why does it take so long for him to finally do something? 4) and why does he do it… like that?

So, 5000 words of insane ramblings later...

I want to emphasize that this analysis is an exercise in interpretation. You don’t have to agree with me on any or all points. In fact, that’s the beauty of literary analysis— forming your own opinion using textual evidence is the name of the game. You can say anything as long as you can back it up. And this is not necessarily an interpretation that I believe, at least not all the time; it’s just a way of looking at things that I find interesting.

But I do think this interpretation provides the basis for a canonical explanation of Armin’s character from beginning to end of the manga. I’m one of those people who believe that chapter 139 (and the mess of an arc leading up to it) was well-intentioned, but poorly executed due to pacing issues, lack of planning, loss of motivation, and outside influences. It’s not the ending I would have written *hair flip*, but I can see what it was supposed to be, and I think— with a few generous grains of salt— that it can… work. More or less.

With that being said, this analysis is more about Armin’s character around the serumbowl and immediately afterwards leading into the time skip, as well as looking back into Armin’s progression since the beginning of the story. I will delve into the ending, but this is not a meta on that, because really what else can be said at this point.

There are also a plethora of endnotes that stem from other thoughts in this essay marked by superscript. It’s not necessary to read them when they are marked, or even at all. Just things I thought were interesting.

So let’s get into it.

Thesis

Throughout the story, Armin is portrayed as a victim of his circumstances: the target of bullies turned into a soldier, fighting a losing battle where there are more questions than answers. Despite his efforts, and in spite of his occasional successes, Armin fails to take control of his circumstances time and time again, often choosing to wait to see how events will unfold, rather than taking preemptive action to prevent the continued cycle of violent circumstances in which he finds himself trapped.

In this essay, I will demonstrate how Armin internalizes a permanent victim mindset after his sacrifice at Shiganshina and how he extrapolates this idea into a personal ideology that absolves him of fault for his actions, leading to the development of a false sense of self and the compulsive desire to be seen as a hero.

On the Serumbowl (do people still call it that?)

Who doesn’t love a good thesis? That’s about as academic as this is going to get, so let’s dial it down and go back a bit. We have to agree on some things first.

There are two points at the center of this interpretation that I know not everyone will agree with fully. You don’t have to agree; but please know if you’re going to disagree, I’m only interested in spirited debate if we can do it over a bottle of wine in the evening as the candlelight falls low over the intimate room where we find ourselves looking into each other’s eyes as we speak.

The first point— Armin is not to blame for Bertholdt’s death. The phrasing of that is important. I’m not saying that Armin did not physically cause Bertholdt’s death (because he literally ate him) or that Armin should not feel some level of guilt or responsibility (he was planning on killing Bertholdt anyways). I am saying that the actual choice made in the serumbowl to inject Armin, turn him into a titan, and consume Bertholdt to gain the colossal titan was not Armin’s fault.

There is an argument to be made that Bertholdt’s death was unnecessarily cruel, and I’m not disagreeing with that. But again, this is explicitly not Armin’s fault:

He had already prepared to die when he sacrificed himself to cause a diversion and so was unconscious/on the brink of death when that decision was made.

He expressed shock and remorse upon learning of the exact situation that had unfolded to cause Bertholdt’s death.

Some will contend that he had no remorse so here’s my response: we’re not in a court of law and I don’t actually have to prove anything to you, but if we want to go there, then take this:

Armin had an emotional and physical reaction after waking up that I constitute counts as an act of remorse, because he was incapacitated during the act and therefore did not consent to what was done to Bertholdt OR what was done to him.

And furthermore, your Honor, the defendant displayed a similar physical reaction on a previous occasion after his first alleged attempt on someone’s life. Nausea and vomiting is clearly an instinctive coping mechanism that my client experiences when he is feeling guilt and/or remorse. Case closed.

The second point— Armin was a victim of the serumbowl as much as Bertholdt or Erwin. Again, I know this is contentious, but actually it turns out that willingly sacrificing your life by enduring excruciating pain to further your cause, and then being injected with a serum will bring you back to life and being induced into a catatonic state of cannibalism that causes you to eat a living person and ends with your inheritance of one of the titans, an enormous responsibility that you did not ask for, and most of that being done to you against your will and without your knowledge… that, uh, is probably not anyone's first choice of how to spend their day.¹

A False Victimhood

So we agree— Armin was a victim of circumstance in the serumbowl and was set up to kill Bertholdt in a much crueler and more personal way than he and Eren had originally planned.² I think whatever Armin was feeling atop the wall in Shiganshina when he woke up (shock, horror, sadness, regret, disgust) was perfectly valid and understandable at that time. Without even mentioning the general horror of that entire battle, the serumbowl was a terrible thing to happen— to all those who were involved, to all who were witnesses, even to those who were complicit in the decision-making, it was still a terrible thing to be a part of. And to be made to participate in that against your will— that would be tremendously difficult to deal with emotionally. How much guilt should you feel for something you did that was done without your consent?³

But I think this is where things take a turn. It seems like Armin begins to falsely extend that victimhood to other aspects of his life. He internalizes what he felt in the aftermath of the serumbowl— something bad happened at my hands, but it wasn’t really my fault— and he extrapolates it to other situations in his life, even ones where it does not make sense. This is why he can justify following Eren, or at least not intervening when he realizes the destructive path Eren is on. In his mind, he is still at the mercy of his circumstances. He has been wronged, put upon, taken advantage of, and instead of fashioning his feelings of helplessness and guilt into useful actions to correct the course of events into a future he desires, he’s only capable of grieving for himself and rationalizing his worldview to others.

He expresses this directly to Annie:

Which is… fine, I mean, there’s a lot to discuss there and their situations aren’t quite the same.⁴

There is a truth at the center of this martyr complex Armin has created for himself, because he willingly sacrificed his life in Shiganshina to further his cause. He was literally a martyr. But still, that doesn’t absolve him of fault for any future actions. Being a victim in one situation does not make you a victim for the rest of your life. He definitely did have a choice when it came to following Eren’s lead to attack Liberio, and he went so far as to draw the battle plans himself. He has created this narrative in his head that he is somehow not responsible for his own actions. He has no other choice.

Self-centered and Hollow

Let’s talk about how this manifests in his connection with Bertholdt.

Has someone ever given you a really hollow apology? I’m sorry you feel that way… reflecting the blame back onto you… I’m sorry I fucked up, I always do, I’m such a bad person… shifting the attention away from your feelings to theirs… I’m sorry, I was just… justifying their actions to recenter the conversation on themselves?

Because when you have wronged someone, you apologize to them and for them. Apologizing might make you feel better or take some weight off your shoulders, but that’s not what it’s about. You’re letting the other person know that you understand what you did, you are sorry, and you will not do it again. This is a lesson Armin desperately needs to learn.⁵

I think it’s worth saying that Armin does feel guilty for Bertholdt’s death, or at least he acknowledges his participation in the act. We see this in Liberio when he pauses to reflect on Bertholdt after destroying the harbor, and then again when he meets redead Bertholdt in paths.

But interestingly— in both of these instances, while I think it’s clear that Armin is understanding of his part in Bertholdt’s death (willful or not, if you eat someone alive, you kinda gotta own that), he still neglects to act on any remorse or sorrow that he might still feel. He displays other emotions, but not in ways that extend past himself to Bertholdt. He seems guilt-ridden, but he doesn’t apologize. He seems sad, but he doesn’t grieve for Bertholdt.

These moments are centered around himself and his own victimhood. When he thinks of Bertholdt in Liberio, he is comparing their actions to alleviate his own guilt at the destruction he’s caused. We’re the same after all, we’re both victims of circumstance who have been made to kill people. The difference is that Armin is complicit in this attack on Liberio. He says that Eren would’ve done it without their help anyways (objection, your Honor, that’s speculation), and sure, maybe, but you didn’t have to do it with him. Armin (and the others) still chose to work with Eren at that point. On the other hand, while I wouldn’t say that Bertholdt is free of blame for his actions either, his situation is a little more sympathetic— he was a child soldier manipulated into a mission of mass destruction. Armin is an adult with a new haircut to match.

Similarly, when Armin meets Bertholdt in paths, he’s not reaching out to Bertholdt to connect with him. He’s focused on himself and his problems. He centers the conversation on him and how guilty it makes him feel. He kinda apologizes, but not for Bertholdt’s cruel death, not even on behalf of the others who forced it to happen. He apologizes for what he’s about to ask Bertholdt to do.

Now— if we want to get into the weeds on this one, I’d argue this is an indirect apology on Armin’s part for his involvement in Bertholdt’s death. He’s apologizing for keeping him in the limbo of paths and not allowing him to rest— just do one more thing for us and then you can go. I think it’s an expression of apology. It’s just not very direct and it’s not good enough if he’s trying to make genuine amends.

This is a Pattern

Let’s take a step back in time for a moment to look at Armin’s arc through the manga. I think it’s worth pointing out the times that Armin does try to take control of his circumstances and act assertively. In each of these instances, he’s successful in the sense that he reaches his immediate goal. But it rarely unfolds quite the way he wants and it always comes at a cost, whether that is known to him at the time or not.

In Trost, Armin defends Eren against the Garrison. He takes a decisive stand to convince the soldiers not to shoot at them. The captain is too scared to be persuaded and they are nearly killed anyway, only saved by Pixis’ arrival.

On the 57th expedition, when Armin realized the Female Titan was looking for Eren, he successfully helped his team evade death and narrow down her motives. Behind the scenes, Reiner was working with Annie, and she ended up capturing Eren anyway (at least for a brief period of time).

In the Uprising arc, Armin is the one who shoots and kills Kenny’s soldier to defend Jean. But he is overwhelmed by the violence done by his own hand, and he struggles to accept this new path.

In Shiganshina, he comes up with the plan to take down Bertholdt at the expense of his own life. What Happens Next Will Shock You

Each of these moments build on each other, showing a progression in his agency and decision-making, especially when it comes to violence. But it also shows that even when Armin is successful in his initial goals, he fails to escape the set of circumstances which led him to take action in the first place. In Trost, he gives a big speech— they’re going to kill him anyway. In the FT arc, he saves his teammates’ lives and gains intel— lots of people die anyways. In Uprising, he saves Jean’s life— but afterwards, he is told that this is something he’ll have to get used to. The killing won’t stop.

It’s important too that each of these actions is done in defense, and only after a clear threat has been established. Armin is not proactive in fighting Kenny’s soldiers; he avoids direct confrontation with the soldiers until one of his comrades is about to die, and only then does he necessitate direct action. Even in his moments of assertiveness, he is still only reactive. Even as he progresses, he is still only a victim of his circumstances.

Armin introduces this motto in the Female Titan arc, the idea that he must sacrifice his humanity in order to achieve his goals. He tries to follow through on this, giving up more and more each time to further his goals. He manipulates Bertholdt using Annie’s memory to distract him. He kills someone to save Jean’s life. He tries again to outsmart Bertholdt in Shiganshina, but he fails that time due to Bertholdt’s offscreen character development. This pattern builds and culminates in his sacrifice at Shiganshina. He has already given his mind, his heart, and his hands. All that’s left for him to do is give his own life for the cause. Literally, leaving behind his humanity.

Except— he’s brought back to life.

That wasn’t part of the plan. He was supposed to be a sacrifice. He had made some sort of peace with that, knowing that he was doing it for a reason he believed in. And now— what else does he have to give?

The answer is fuck-all apparently, because he begins to see himself as a permanent victim. All of those unfortunate circumstances have built on top of each other and have now voltroned into one big martyr complex. To be clear, Armin has rightfully been a victim many times, as discussed above. But his answer to that is not to rise above and find a way to change his circumstances. His answer is not to be more decisive and proactive. It’s like he just sinks further into himself, wallowing in his own grief as he stews in his victimhood state.

So Close

I think the closest Armin comes to having a revelation about this is in Chapter 112 when he is confronted by Eren. This is interesting, because Eren has been at the crux of his life and his development for the entire story. He’s continued to work with Eren in the hopes that things will turn out alright in the end.

But Eren’s accusations aren’t what give him the opportunity for a realization. In fact, Eren feeds right into Armin’s victim complex. You’re being controlled by Bertholdt. That’s an absolute goldmine of an excuse for someone who wants to blame all of their problems on someone else. He’s already allowing himself to believe that things aren’t his fault, and now Eren is providing a clear out. It’s all Bertholdt, he’s inside my mind. I don’t think Armin walks away believing this. But I do think there’s a moment where he at least considers the possibility. Is he genuinely horrified at the thought of being controlled by someone else, or is it terrifying because it validates everything he wants to believe about himself? Look at that man, he’s like damn it, why didn’t I think of that first??

But this doesn’t last. Eren turns to Mikasa. And it’s so interesting because he says the same thing about her– you don’t have a free will. You’re being controlled. He’s gaslighting both of them to get out of his way and make them feel crazy for everything they’ve done, because, duh, you’re just being controlled, silly!

But this time, Armin doesn’t stand for it. Whether it’s because he understands Mikasa’s agency as independent in a way that he cannot do for himself (maybe he’s projecting and defending her in the way that he wishes he could defend himself, haha… unless?), or simply because he cares about Mikasa and doesn’t want to see her in pain, he doesn’t take it. He goes so far as to attack Eren. It’s mostly reactive in response to the things Eren is saying, but this time, he is the first to throw hands.

And Yet So Far

So— everything up until this point, I’m like, okay. Armin is a self-centered sad boi who can’t escape his victimizing circumstances and he is using that to his selfish advantage in order to avoid taking responsibility for his actions. Love that for him.

But this is where Isayama starts to lose me, at least as far as Armin’s character is concerned. I always love a circular arc where a character can’t help but succumb to something that they once broke free from, which is… I guess how I would describe what happens with Armin next? Except not really at all. He goes back to rationalizing Eren’s actions after Jean provides the convenient excuse of Eren wouldn’t do that intentionally, he must be up to something. Armin is like holy shit thank you for providing yet another out, now I don’t have to do any character development.

But to me, it seems like this would have been the right place for Armin’s break from his self-pitying trajectory. This would have been the time for him to stand up and side against Eren, thereby putting Mikasa in the crossfire to make her own decision. But I guess… Isayama needed the volunteers to come in and reveal their plan, and he needed everyone to go along with it so he could set up the Eren vs. Reiner fight, etc. So Armin kinda gets lost in the mix for a while after this.

The next closest we get is when he lashes out at Mikasa, which I love unironically because they are both absolute messes and need to get their shit together PLEASE girl he won’t change just move on. But this moment also falls flat because it doesn’t really go anywhere (should be the title of this entire arc). Because as much as I love a manic breakdown (how else do you think I wrote this??), even after Armin begins to crack under the pressure, he still continues to justify Eren’s actions and wants to wait to see what happens. “He’s just breaking the walls in Shiganshina as a threat! Everything will be fine!” NO KING HE’S ENDING THE WORLD PLEASE GET A GRIP

Armin does finally come out of this cloud a bit after the rumbling begins, but he’s still focusing on the wrong things, chasing Connie all the way to Ragako (to do what? save Falco to manipulate Gabi into siding with them BYE KING) and again, when he snaps at Mikasa, she’s the one who apologizes and Armin’s all like:

That’s not an apology bestie it’s emotional abuse

Anyway, my thoughts on this portion of the manga are clearly not coherent, complementary to the source material. I think it’s clear by this point that Isayama was laying the pieces for Armin to eventually be the one to oppose Eren in the final battle, but I needed a little more from him in that regard. I needed to see a little more doubt. Armin spent a lot of time in this arc repeating platitudes about talking to Eren, and I think those moments were supposed to show the gradual decline of his trust in Eren as he came out of denial. But it’s just not quite enough for me, because he’s saying all of that as he continues to go with the flow. Like being caught in the tides of the ocean, unable to break free from the same repeating pattern. Oh no is it all just a metaphor for the sea

But this isn’t an Isayama smackdown, so let’s move on.

Chapter 139

Speaking of Isayama smackdowns,

Somewhere in the haze of the 120s, Armin manages to piece together what’s left of his character and take a stand against Eren, eventually fighting him in colossal form. I think when you take a step back, it’s clear that Armin was meant to be coming to this place. For instance, why else would Hange have to die? It’s to make room for Armin as the commander leading the final charge. I’m not opposed to this idea if done well,⁶ but again, the execution failed to come off as meaningful or gratifying after all that Hange has been through. And as a side note to this Commander Armin tangent, I could’ve done with much more Hange-Armin interaction. It would’ve been nice to see them at odds over Eren earlier, so that when they’re working together again, there’s a lot more weight to Hange’s faith in him.

There’s a lot more to unpack in these chapters that might benefit my argument if I cared to take the time for it. But I don’t, so let’s jump straight to the end. Although I would like to highlight how absolutely wide open Yelena’s third eye is—

But what’s really interesting about the final chapter is that in the end, who is it who claims to have killed Eren? Who takes ownership of saving the world? Who gets to be the hero who defeated the big bad?

It’s a bird—

It’s a plane—

No, it’s Armin with his martyr complex in his pocket!

Look at his fucking hairline pls...

So, I was playing with this idea of a victim complex only in regards to the direct aftermath of the serumbowl for a long time, so it’s really interesting (read: hysterical) that it actually extends all the way into the final chapter. In a way, it comes full circle in a more satisfying way that many other aspects of the story do. I mean, once again, Armin fails to take responsibility for his own faults. But by accepting responsibility for Mikasa killing Eren when he finds out she doesn’t want it (and boy, does he jump at the chance!), he is really sealing the deal on his self-pity and blindness. It’s confirmation that he is not going to change. And it means he’s reached a new extreme of martyrdom— not only did he sacrifice his life back in Shiganshina, how he is the Survey Corps Commander who saved the world from the rumbling. He is MegaMartyr, defender of the Universe, airing Thursdays at 8/7 Central.

It must be so fucking gratifying for Armin to seize this opportunity. He gets all the attention and glory while getting to shove his own faults and actions under the rug. What started as a little self-pity because of his real and tragic circumstances has now ballooned past martyrdom and exploded into a hero complex. He needs that recognition to keep going. He is feeding on this attention, and he’s willing to do everything but take responsibility for his own actions to get it, which is especially wild considering part of what he is responsible for is the very apocalypse that he’s taking credit for ending. Oh my god, Armin is the firefighter who commits arson and then gets called a hero for putting it out. Oh god⁷

Well,

The conclusion I expected to reach at the end of this analysis was not that Armin is the character in every police serial who thinks he’s smart enough to report a crime that he committed and get away with it, but here we are.

In closing, I would like to apologize for how unhinged this analysis became towards the end and clarify that this is not a hateful diatribe against Armin, despite appearances. I’m not laughing at him. I’m laughing with him 🥰✨

Endnotes

1. Sorry for sounding so much like an asshole in this section, but some of you read RTS and said "time for Armin slander forever sweaty :)" try critical thinking, thots

2. To be fair, we don’t know what the survey corps planned to do with Reiner and Bertholdt if they captured them. based on Hange’s interaction with Reiner, they probably intended to interrogate and kill them/take their powers. It’s worth thinking about, but we don’t know for sure.

3. Interesting point of debate— if both sides were to be tried for war crimes committed in Shiganshina, who would be convicted? I’m asking this as a discussion question, not a who’s who of your favorite characters. Unlock those unbiased critical thinking skills and make me a legal argument. Who would you prosecute and who would you defend? On what basis? Using what evidence? What sentence would you seek?

4. Short essay on Bertholdt— I think I'm a lot less blindly forgiving of the warriors than others, but I do want to point out why. I don't think they're quite as brainwashed as we often talk about. At the campfire before Marcel confesses that he rigged the rankings, we see Reiner going on and on about evil island devils and honorary Marleyans. I think he believes this, but the other three just sit there quietly. I think they'd probably outgrown that mindset by that point, especially having been through military training. They were exposed to a different world than most Eldians and they were given the powers of the titans that they knew were be used for Marley's advantage. They knew they were being used. They saw the power imbalance from an angle that most Eldians never got to see. They had to understand at least to some extent what that meant for all the propaganda they'd heard growing up. We see this again from Annie after Marcel dies; she's breaking down as she attacks Reiner, because she's pissed that she's been lied to and manipulated by all the adults in her life.

So it's not a question of understanding. I think they knew what they were doing. The true scale of destruction would have been hard to fathom at that age, but I think they knew that they were really just pawns in a violent war being made against their own people. It's more a question of agency— even knowing all of that, what choice did they have? They could've refused to go through with it and been killed, gotten their families killed, but that's the kind of principled stand you would expect from an adult restorationist like Grisha, not a twelve-year-old who's mostly concerned about protecting their family.

All of this to say— of course, I understand that Bertholdt was very young at the time of the attack of Wall Maria. They'd all been traumatized and manipulated and made to fight in a war beyond their years. They were child soldiers who should've been allowed to just be children. I wouldn't punish or blame them for their actions at that age. But they're not real kids, this is all fake, so I think when we're talking about this, it's important to get into the details, and it seems disingenuous to act as if the warriors were totally oblivious to their actions or that they literally believed killing thousands of people was the right thing to do. That kind of blind righteousness would have been easy to portray, but it's not the portrayal we got, not even from Reiner, who was the most extreme.

5. Y'all watched season 2 of Never Have I Ever yet???

6. By the way, people love to yell about things they don't like in the story being a plot device. I have some unfortunate news for everyone: almost every element of the plot is a plot device. That's why it's called a plot device. It's just more obvious to you when it's something you don't like. Or in this case, when it's painfully thin.

7. You might be thinking: oh, like the guy who planted a bomb at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics and then got off on the hero worship when he saved everyone? Which, yes, that's the general idea, but if you believe that's a true story, you've been misled by the media. Richard Jewell was cleared by the FBI, and the real bomber was later caught and sentenced to four consecutive life sentences. The more you know ⭐️

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Three of Three

(another massive, massive thank you to @mimsyaf​ )

part 1

part 2

8. Queerness and femininity and masculinity and the colour red and *record breaks*

If we spin the record aaalll the way back to this paragraph: “…looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), and men.” Reading Daniel as a repressed, bisexual boy in a society that doesn’t accept his desires it’s interesting looking at how he moves through the world of the Miyagi-verse, at how threatened other men are by him, at how obsessed they are with him.

He’s out in the symbolic woods and these large boys and men see him and decide for whatever plot reasons to come for him. And they are large and violent and attractive and apart from Johnny again, they don’t have the nebulous excuse of fighting over a girl and even that excuse dies by around the midpoint when Johnny kisses Ali just to get a rise out of Daniel. He’s not trying to “win her back,” he’s not even really looking at her. He’s just trying to get a reaction. They don’t have any of the fighters in Rocky’s excuse either of Daniel being a macho opponent. 

You can read whatever subtext into TKK1 and TKK2 (which becomes especially tempting once CK confirmed that the guys he fought at seventeen have been thinking about him ever since – for thirty-five years), but TKK3 is where it’s really At in terms of obsession and lust and forbidden desires.

Silver is presented as both a handsome prince who saves Daniel and mentors him (where Miyagi is undoubtedly cast in a fatherhood role) and later on becomes twisted into a dark secret that Daniel has to keep, while he turns that thing that Daniel loves (karate, it’s… it’s karate… it’s also men, but it’s definitely karate, because karate makes him feel… things...) into an abusive, violent version of itself.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But he’s also offering him something liberating. Whatever is going on in that nightclub scene is about something other than breaking Daniel down. Even the bloodied knuckles aren’t just about revenge. It’s about giving him something that he isn’t, in the end, willing to receive, at least not from Silver. In that roundabout, strange way of these feminine fairytales, it’s exploring hidden desires through the metaphor of karate.

Daniel wears red because it’s his colour. In the movies he wears red a lot. Often in scenes with violence in them (the beach/the hilltop in TKK1 and the date/the destruction of the dojo/the final fight in TKK2), but he also has a variety of shirts (and in TKK3 pants) that pop up all the way through the narrative. He wears a red jacket when he accepts Terry’s training, when he punches a guy in the face, and when he tries to get out of the training again (as badly as that goes).

Did anyone consciously think about red’s link to desire, obsession, and violence when they made these? Eh. But is it there symbolically? When he meets Johnny, when he fights Chozen, when he’s in emotionally fraught situations with Terry? Hell yeah.

Probably the most lust-and-violence infused red is that aforementioned punching-board-until-knuckles-bleed bit – not that I thought Terry was going to pull him in for a kiss, because I knew, logically, of course he wouldn’t right? There’s no way… is there? Or later on when Daniel punches that guy and ends up with blood all over his shirt and Terry once more grasps him, euphorically. Blood is violence. Blood is also desire. Red is Daniel’s colour, even though he doesn’t acknowledge it come Cobra Kai. (Maybe he just needs someone else - cough Johnny Lawrence cough - to inspire it in him again).

Daniel LaRusso’s narrative is exploring that most feminine of fairytale tropes: To want and be wanted by monsters and having to hide those desires.

“Maybe this time that strange churning in my stomach that feels like a mix of anticipation and fear will turn out good for me.” - Daniel’s mind.

At the end of the story, Daniel saves himself, with all of the strange mixed narratives around it, and the acknowledgement that the end of The Karate Kid Part Three isn’t satisfying and its aftermath will likely be delved into in the next season of Cobra Kai.

Nevertheless, he saves himself. Not from Silver or Kreese or Barnes, and not entirely, but he makes a decision not to give in to fear (and he continues to try and live by that decision, making it over and over again for the next thirty-five years, even when the return of Cobra Kai makes that difficult for him). 

He doesn’t do it by being the strongest in the land or even through a lucky shot (although that too). He does it by refusing to be like the male antagonists that surround him, by telling them they have no power over him. The narrative isn’t just his getting lost in the forest and all the monsters he finds there, it’s about how he redefines power for himself within that forest. 

He’s a man who isn’t violent, whose victories include helping out a girl whose ex-boyfriend just broke her radio, successfully doing the moves to a cultural dance he’s trying to learn, sitting with his father figure while he cries over the death of his own father, telling a girl that she’s just made her first friend, and breathing a sigh of relief that a tree that got broken has healed. 

Daniel LaRusso is a good boy is the point!

Karate is a metaphor. It can turn into many things: A series of lessons learned about how to be his own man and take care of his own house, a respect for the history of the father teaching him and sharing his home and story with him, fear, desire, masculinity (and the different forms that can take). 

When a tall, handsome stranger offers to teach him karate in the dark, without Daniel’s caretaker knowing how to help him, and twists that karate into something that hurts him - when he reclaims that, over and over, that means something too. 

This man is fine and definitely isn’t carrying the weight of buried karate-based queer trauma - could a traumatised man do this? *stares blankly at a former tormentor as blood runs down his forehead*

9. In Conclusion Daniel Has Kissed Dudes… Symbolically… But We Can HC Literally:

So there’s Daniel and his coded feminine fairytale narrative. It’s all a series of fun coincidences.

1. Ralph Macchio is just Like That

2. Red. All the red. 

3. large portion of his storyline is about lack of power. Yes, he regains that power by the end of the first and second movie through A Fight, but generally he is framed as powerless opposite these almost monstrously physically powerful boys/men. And in the third one it’s barely even about physical prowess (he’d still lose a real fight against Barnes or Silver) and more about regaining lost autonomy off the back of a manipulative, abusive relationship with an older guy.

4. The third movie in particular is narratively a mess, but if reimagined as a fairytale makes a lot of sense (because it’s secretly all about how karate is bisexuality and Daniel gets manipulated through that desire to be better at karate).

5. Queerness and femininity and themes about hidden desires that can only be approached sideways through couching those desires in symbolism: Handshake meme.

6. The fact that the more I think about it, the more feral I am for a Labyrinth AU.

7. To sum up over 5000 words of text: The inherent homoeroticism of wanting to be slammed against a locker by a bully, but extended over three movies and ever-more inventive ways of hurting pretty-boy-Daniel-LaRusso.

Johnny’s not going to be happy when he realises Daniel’s got other ex-rivals buried in his closet...

10. Some Other Stuff Aka The Laziest Referencing I’ll Ever Do

Further reading on trans Matrix

Further reading on masculinity and rape narrative in The Rape Of James Bond

Youtube Video from Pop Culture Detective (Sexual Assault Of Men Played For Laughs)

Some film/TV references in this: Dracula (Coppola), Princess Bride, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Labyrinth, The Matrix, Rocky, Princess And The Frog, Cinderella, Enchanted, Shape Of Water, Swamp Thing, Phantom of the Opera 

Some fairytale references: Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, The Wolf And The Seven Little Kids, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Company of Wolves (Angela Carter), Through the Looking Glass, Princess Bride

Also referenced is Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel and the subsequent musical Funhome. Further thoughts on this by @thehours2002​ and @jenpsaki​:

https://thehours2002.tumblr.com/post/650033577171533824/daniel-larusso-and-fun-home-click-to-enlarge

https://jenpsaki.tumblr.com/post/650530225997971456/cobra-kai-fun-home-inspired-by-goldstargirls

My list of Cobra Kai meta posts

I wanted to delve into fairytale movies more, but then I was like “fuck, I have actual work to do,” but I was interested in the ways male and female characters are written in these stories:

The Last Unicorn, The Never-Ending Story, The Dark Crystal, Legend, and Stardust.

The Last Unicorn is an interesting one because she’s not really human, until she is. It’s more like The Little Mermaid (the fairytale, not the Disney film) in tone, and of course there’s a pretty substantiated rumour that Andersen wrote that one as a metaphor for falling in love with another man (who eventually got married). 

Andersen in general is just fun to analyse as someone who popularized so many fairytales and exists as an ambiguously queer historical figure – might’ve been modern-day gay, bi, ace, but we’re just not sure. All your favourite fairytales can be read through the lens of queer loneliness and ostracization. Just like horror.

Anyway I didn’t go into the whole Little-Mermaid-Last-Unicorn transformation bit so much as the Monstrous-Desires bit, but I think there could be something to that too, with monsters representing otherhood and all. Stardust is a kinda-almost-this, except she sticks to her human form and all is okey-dokey by the end, she’s allowed to marry the handsome man and be a star.

The Never-Ending Story has Atreyu and Bastian and because of a lack of female characters, an interesting bond between the two of them, but mainly Atreyu is absolutely a go-gettem Hero Type and it’s just interesting to see how Bastian relates to him as both an audience insert, but also eventually as his own character in that world.

The Dark Crystal contains certain… androgynous elements of feminine and masculine coded characteristics in the main character because of how he’s not human, but also they do have a “female” version of his species that he needs to go save (and bring back to life) by the end, so in a way it’s both more and less heteronormative in its characters.

Legend sees another example of a monster (literally called Darkness and looking like a traditional devil) trying to seduce a princess through promises of power, and she “goes along with it” in order to trick him and succeeds in that trick, but is ultimately saved by the male lead. 

In conclusion: I don’t even have Shrek in this.

[talkfantasytome]

Going to delete ask posts that directly linked other people's posts, based on this feedback and suggestion (which I thoroughly appreciate!), as I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone or directly tell a specific person they're wrong. I'll repost the general content, with a summary of what was asked, starting with this post.

Anon Ask: Some people are saying that SJM has confirmed Vassien by saying that she'd like to do retellings of firebird legends, swan lake, and Vasilisa the Beautiful, using some shots of her comments. What are your thoughts on this? And the time on facebook that Sarah said E\ain and Lucien have a lot of "tension, growth, and healing to be found (together)".

The most important thing to consider here is timeline. Both of the twitter shown were made in April of 2015. The first one is, honestly, fairly irrelevant. First of all, she's just saying fairy tales she might like to retell. And, for the record, she has also said she'd like to do a retelling of The Little Mermaid, yet often people disregard that as an argument for Gwynriel. So, either her comments on what she'd like to do a retelling of matter, or they don't.

And, if they're saying that those comments are foreshadowing a Vassa + Lucien book, then clearly The Little Mermaid comments are foreshadowing a Gwynriel book. And then...where's E\ain's?

E\ain is getting a book, so which fairy tale gets the short straw?

Or, maybe, the story won't be exactly like the fairy tale.

I do think that both of those comments are important, but Sarah said she wants to do a retelling.

That could literally mean anything. All that tells us is that she will take themes and ideas from the story. I'm not saying Vassa won't be important in a later book, but Sarah can retell the story any way. She could have Vassa betray E\ain, get Koschei to transfer the curse over to the middle Archeron, and now E\ain is the swan on the lake (cause, come on, E\ain's def. a bit swan-like), and Lucien has to rescue her. Or, maybe Jurian is the one that rescues Vassa while Lucien and E\ain deal with Koschei?

There are so many options in a retelling that to say SJM telling us she wants to do a retelling of these stories is a clear sign that Vassa + Lucien are endgame is, honestly, not a very critical analysis.

I'm going to address this tweet next:

This twitter exchange happed April 30, 2015. ACOMAF was published in May of 2016. This post can not be used as foreshadowing of Vassa + Lucien, because it happened before we found out E\ain and Lucien are mates. That "at some point further down the road" literally means "any time after book 1".

People keep using this tweet and presenting it as if Sarah's response came recently. They're spreading misinformation - it may not be purposeful, they may not have seen or noticed the date, but this twitter exchange can't be used as proof that Lucien's person has to be someone other than E\ain, because when it was made we did not know about the Lucien and E\ain possibility.

That doesn't mean it definitely is talking about E\ain, but my point is that this is not proof of Vassa + Lucien, of someone else + Lucien, because of when it was posted.

As for other comments on retellings Sarah would like to do - it's the same argument as the first one. Sarah said she wants to do a retelling of the firebird and swan like. We all know this. It's not new information. People who are saying Vassa + Lucien won't happen aren't ignorant of this fact. We're well aware, and we're also well aware of every other thing Sarah has said, mentioned, foreshadowed, and we're tying it all together. Focusing solely on stories Sarah has mentioned she'd like to retell - not confirmed she will retell - and ignoring everything else doesn't provide a solid analysis. You have to weave how those stories would fit into the grander scheme, and look at the other surrounding factors as well.

And, again, we need to remember that Sarah can do whatever the hell she wants in terms of the story and how she chooses to retell a fairy tale. I mean, how often is Little Red Riding Hood turned into a werewolf story? And sometimes even Red is the wolf?

Writers use fairy tales as a base, a foundation, but then they make it their own. No writer is going to tell the fairy tale exactly how it first was. They're going to adjust it...a lot...to make it their own story.

I'd also like to point out that both times she mentions Vasilisa, she says "Vasilisa the Beautiful". The first time she also said 'the Brave', but the second, solely 'Beautiful'. Vassa is beautiful, of course, but one of E\ain's defining characteristics is her beauty. Even in ACOSF it was again mentioned, discussed, about how her beauty made others hate her.

Could Vassa be Vasilisa...of course. However, I think people are a bit blinded by the similarities in names. Remember, Vasilisa the Beautiful wasn't the firebird - those are different stories. And, honestly, after doing a bit of research into the tale, I'm starting to get more and more sure of the thought that the character who would portray Vasilisa is E\ain.

I think I'm going to do a post on it...

In the later comment on retellings she'd like to do - which we know came after the first as the first came out in August 2015 and that story she's telling was given after the second set of books was confirmed - I also find it interesting that she said Vasilisa the Beautiful (specifically) and Swan Lake, subbing out the firebird.

Why would she do that? Perhaps because she's already brought in the firebird pieces she planned to bring in. We already know that retelling, and how it's come to play. Vassa is a firebird by the curse.

I'm not saying it couldn't end in a Swan Lake thing, as that is what the curse reminds me of. But, personally, I think the fact that she's saying Swan Lake now is also symbolic of something more, possibly another character getting trapped by Koschei.

As for the other piece you asked about, I don't have much to say about it, because it feels like the closest we'll come to an elucien confirmation.

That was also posted a while ago, back when ACOMAF came out. So, it's not like this is recent information Sarah is providing us. However, we know that Sarah can sometimes end up choosing endgame based on gut and things that just hit her. Cassian and Nesta - literally didn't know about them until she wrote them on the same page and was like "oh shit". So Sarah saying that she and Lucien didn't see E\ain coming...I'm sorry, but that feels almost more telling than even the next part of the sentence - where she says they have growing and healing to do together.

That's so huge. And we haven't seen that yet. We've only really seen the tension.

Sarah said this back when ACOMAF came out. And it was around writing or publishing ACOWAR that she got the okay for the second set of books (I think?). Which means she was likely thinking about the longer-term stories before that. Which would explain why we didn't get that growth and healing in ACOWAR.

Instead, she left them in a spot where it seemed like a possibility, and then for the later books has just added more tension. But that journey is still there. She's had it planned for so long. And yes, maybe she could change her mind, but we only know of two cases where she did just that:

Az and Mor

Nesta and Lucien

For Az and Mor it was because she decided to make Mor bisexual and unable to be in an emotional relationship with a male. This was due to complaints over diversity. It's the closest Sarah's probably come to 'fanservice' - except, admittedly, this is so not fanservice. Fanservice is doing something like, say, having Voldemort and Bellatrix have a secret love child despite the fact that Voldy never once came off as having any form of romantic or sexual feelings for her or anyone, ever. (Seriously, that guy was asexual and that is a hill I'll die on.)

Adjusting a character due to legitimate complaints and concerns on diversity, not just fanservice. It's more a full on social service, really, to try and provide that representation better. Yes, it wasn't done in the best way, but she did make an attempt.

The second one - Nesta and Lucien. That was her general plan, until she put Nesta and Cassian on page together. Then it all went out the window. Just like all of Nesta's thoughts when she saw Cassian. Just like Cassian's entire brain when he saw Nesta. 👀

And we get it, because we see it too.

So, while Sarah could have changed her mind about E\ain and Lucien, the only reasons she'd do that don't yet apply. She's already made a change for the diversity complaints, and I don't see her doing that with these two. As for finding out they actually belong with someone else when she sees them on page - well, that hasn't happened yet. She made the E\ain + Lucien decision after we see E\ain and Azriel interact, so clearly Az is not that for E\ain. And we've seen Lucien and Vassa on page together. There's nothing there except Lucien being pained about her curse - which, yeah, she's his friend. How often is one IC member described as looking pained for another? Or thinks about how much it hurt them to see their friend hurt?

But we know what it looks like when the chemistry is so undeniable it will adjust Sarah's plans. And if you're not sure - go back and read all the Nessian scenes in ACOMAF. And then see the one scene where Lucien and Vassa are on page together - I think you'll find there's another male there that, with Vassa, rings closer to the Nessian home.

There was no on page chemistry between Vassa and Lucien, and certainly not enough to change Sarah's mind. Which would also mean E\ain already wasn't meant for Az, which is likely why no one arguing for Vassa + Lucien seems to care as much about that, because most people who ship them are already dead set on E\ain + Azriel.

So, there you have it, my point of view/rant on those two pieces. But it's always important to look at the context of a post, and especially the "source material" people use to provide proof. It's why I tend to stick to the text where I can, and only use SJM statements that don't have an expiration date to their importance. SJM saying something about how she loves happily ever afters, for example, no expiration date. SJM telling us in 2015 that there is someone special for Lucien down the road - an expiration date after the first sign of a possible love interest for Lucien. Once E\ain was declared to be his mate, that statement became irrelevant, because regardless of whether it will be E\ain or not, you can no longer state that it's clearly hinting at someone else, since E\ain is a love interest for Lucien.

[mostly-mundane-atla]

Well I got at least two people interested (@esmeralda-anistasia and @deathsmallcaps) so why not.

Quick disclaimer: I understand that some fans can be very sensitive to this topic and take general criticisms as personal attacks and jump to the defensive. Please don't justify your ships to me if you have that reaction to anything said in this post. It's not my business and if I'm honest I really don't care. Your experiences are not mine and will not change mine and nothing I'm about to say is meant to be read as an insult.

Okay onto the rarepairs in question!

I was ten years old when the episode Zuko Alone first aired and Ursa fascinated me. She was so elegant and sweet, and yet the implication was that she was also capable of assassination. Her disappearence and the fact everyone involved kept pretty hush-hush about her gave her character an air of mystery and Zuko's memories involving her made him a great deal more interesting and sympathetic (i still rolled my eyes every time he showed up and thought he didn't deserve all the cute moments with Mai until The Day of Black Sun, and even then still thought Jet was cooler in every way, but you can't please them all). She had quickly become a favorite character and I've held onto that adoration for about 15 years now.

I also really wanted her to kiss Hakoda.

They had compatible personalities and deserved some luck in love after all the heartbreak and trials, and they both loved their children despite having to leave. Ursa was never treated as dead, just gone. She could have been anywhere and there was nothing to say she couldn't have crossed paths with Hakoda and his men.

There was also something about it I didn't quite have the words or media exposure to explain. Often, in fandom or canon, if a relationship is biracial, the partner who is fairer-skinned and/or of the dominant or invading culture, who the audience sees themselves in, is the man and the one who is darker-skinned and/or marginalized or colonized is the woman (heteronormativity got a head start on this one). There's a lot of ugly "taming the savage" rhetoric in this, usually paired with blatant misogyny that's supposed to be in the woman's favor (like suggesting that a woman could only be complicit in this culture because it was what she was told and didn't know any better). The woman's family and friends who oppose this are depicted as unfairly prejudiced against this strange man as if their distaste for people who can be or have been responsible for things like genocide or subjugation is the same as the other side seeing these people as deserving of genocide or subjugation for the crime of not being like them. Sometimes it's the other way around, where the partner seen as "more civilized" is the woman and the one seen as "less civilized" is the man, in which case the woman is often abducted or otherwise the man's defining feature is his brutishness. This supposed brutishness is both intimidating and attractive to the oh so delicate if a bit repressed captive/wife (as well as the audience) and can manifest as being fiercely protective of her, which is how he shows his affection if there is a language barrier between them. And if you grow up Native, this is easy to pick up on and often in the back of your mind, because at least 90% of your media representation likely has some aspect mentioned above.

(Man that was a lot of academic style analysis)

But the dynamic between Hakoda and Ursa wouldn't leave room for any of that. Hakoda, as an absent parent backstory, is defined by having to leave despite how much he loved and would miss his children. Ursa, as an absent parent backstory, is defined by the crime she was willing to commit for her children (for Zuko specifically, but how long would it actually take for Azula to shoot her mouth off at the wrong place and time and also be targeted by Azulon?). Ursa was the one whose willingness to kill sent her fleeing into the night. The culture of her nation betrayed her and made her choose between her own safety and that of at least one of her children. Hakoda is charismatic and a good leader, but he is also soft spoken and understanding, and above all else, gentle. He isn't here to hurt innocents. He's here to see to it that the next generation of his people will not fear invaders or raids or even know that snow can be black from soot. And he's someone Ursa can finally feel safe around and confide in, and she could be the same for him. Someone he doesn't have to be the leader for, to whom he can admit that he just wants to be home and let the tears fall.

I'm honest enough to admit that one of the reasons I liked The Search was that Ikem wore his hair a lot like Hakoda did and that was close enough to it being canon for me.

Another one is Jin/Smellerbee. Something about their personalities strikes me as being so wonderfully harmonious and I like to imagine Jin, smooth-talking and streetwise but still the most genuine person, being the one to sit Smellerbee, who never really got a chance to think about these things, down and explain that anything she might be is okay. That it's okay to not be in love with a guy friend who gave her a purpose and loyal companionship. That it's okay to like girls. That she can have more than one partner. That it's okay to be different from what's considered normal and proper and not have an easy word to describe it. And eventually she'd realize it's true. And eventually she'd realize that she wasn't teasing when she called her beautiful in a wild sort of way.

I also like to think that Smellerbee clearly has more specialized fighting skills and is very good at what she does but Jin is strong enough to bench press her no problem. And Smellerbee acts all tough (because she is) but blushes whenever Jin calls her cute or pretty because she's not used to it.

Sometimes Longshot is involved too. Not as a third wheel or the exact same kind of partner, more like a ghibli style relationship with Smellerbee. Like is it a gentle romance? Is it an intimate friendship? It's love and they know that and don't have to define it by others' perception. And Jin gives Longshot kisses so he doesn't feel left out, which gets him a bit bashful because she really could have anyone, she already has Smellerbee of all people, and she still finds him deserving of a peck on the cheek. They probably all bunk together.

This actually started from a fic I wrote but don't intend on posting more than snippets of. Basically, i was tired of a lot of fanfic tropes, especially those having to do with friends to lovers and soulmates (this world is not kind to aromantics and the last thing I wanted in my escapism was romance being established as a level up for relationships), so I wrote something to actively subvert all of them. Jet and Smellerbee were each convinced they owed the other a romantic relationship after all they'd been through together, even though neither actually wanted it, because that's how all the stories go. So after he dies, she remembers all those times that would have been romantic if either was actually interested, but were instead just uncomfortable because it was entirely social convention and no feeling. But then she comes across Jin, who she's never met before, but who takes her in her arms and reassures her and sympathizes with her, and in this tiny apartment in this seedy side of town, she feels safe. She seeks permission for every touch and kiss and tells her this encounter doesn't have to be anything she isn't comfortable with. And when Smellerbee has to leave, Jin insists she take a candle to light her way, and winks when she says she can return it the day after. She gives her an excuse to visit again. And Smellerbee blushes and accepts it.

And then there's Teo/Haru and Teo/Ty Lee. No special reason I just think both would make a cute couple and want Teo to be happy. He's a good boy, more people should love him. Let him impress people with wheelchair tricks and get smooched.

[peach-astrology]

Natal chart:Ariana Grande

Hi! I want to create a new category in my blog,where I talk about the natal charts of famous personalities.I've been listening to Ariana's songs since 2015 and watched TV shows with her on Nickelodeon.I love this Princess! She and Dalton are now engaged and I'm so happy for her.I also want to suggest that this is an incomplete analysis of her natal chart,otherwise this article would be too large,here I looked only at the main positions(for youuuuuuuu ahahahaha)

The first thing I noticed was that there were no planets in the fire element(not counting houses).Although many astrologers say that this means a lack of optimism and fire in the eyes.But look at its conjunction of Jupiter and the Moon in Libra.She went through difficult times in her life,but she went on and wrote beautiful songs.We'll talk about this later.

Its ascendant is in Capricorn,but it doesn’t,fortunately,create an opposition to the Sun.This gives her a beautiful face shape and beautiful cheekbones(Capricorn is responsible for the bones).Also in the interview,we can see how comfortable she is to communicate,as if she is confident in herself and her words,even when joking.In this,in addition to the ascendant,Mercury in Cancer(gentle and sweet communication)and the 7th house are also involved.This position can’t but fascinate.

Let's talk about the Sun(Oh,this is Ariana ahaha).But seriously,it's in the 6th house in Cancer.People with this position can choose a certain vocation and grow very much in their career.Cancer is responsible for the beauty and soulfulness that is in her songs.The Sun has many aspects.The Sun square Moon cause it to fluctuate between the impulses of the soul and the mind.Sun trine Saturn,I notice that this situation indicates a late marriage or a good career.Both planets are in water signs,which indicates the importance of feelings in a relationship.Sun sextile Mars another indication of fame.

In a recent interview,she said that she tries to be sincere in front of fans,but at the same time tries not to divulge too much.She also said that she didn’t want her current relationship to be too public,as it was with the past.Here comes the influence of the ascendant opposition Mercury.The ascendant is responsible for what we show to the outside world(strangers,for example),and Mercury is responsible for our communication.Mercury's opposition to Uranus shows its rebelliousness.You've noticed exactly how often she supports social movements.She helped in the voting and actively disseminate information about the BLM.Moreover,both planets are in cardinal signs.Ariana has a song called "Just like magic" that fully describes Mercury's opposition to Neptune.This position gives a rich inner peace and interest in psychoanalysis,but also obsessive thoughts and anxiety(which she also spoke about in a recent interview).Sometimes indicates a good intuition.

She has a Venus opposition to Pluto,which makes frequent changes in her personal life.Venus controls the sphere of love and relationships(including friendship),and Pluto controls revolutions,changes and transformations.Pluto,like Saturn,gives difficult and morally difficult lessons,but thanks to them,a person becomes stronger and more experienced than others.Venus is in Taurus in the 4th house,which makes her so cozy and caring.It's a very romantic position.Only sincere feelings and their best manifestations.Ariana has two trines(Venus trine Neptune,Venus trine Uranus)that indicate the possibility of development in music.Remember when I said that trine gives us chances,sextile gives us opportunities,and conjunction gives us talent?All of them differ from each other in that the trine requires the most time to develop.You know that Ariana has been developing in show business for a very long time(if you believe the Internet,then since 2008),which is why she has achieved such success and such a strong vocal.Venus trine ascendant makes her so beautiful OMG.

I want to pay special attention to Mars,because it has greatly influenced her life.You probably remember the terrorist attack in Manchester.This event is indicated by 2 positions in her Natal chart:Mars opposition Saturn and Mars in the 8th house.These aspects create accidents and dangerous cases,severe damage.Even if a person tries to get out of this situation,he will not succeed.This event affected her career(Mars sextile MC) and her personality(Mars sextile Sun).After the terrorist attack before the concert,people began to search for security reasons,and Ariana still sends money to the affected people.

Jupiter in the 9th house in Libra also hints at our favorite work and study.Jupiter in Libra gives the ability to cooperate and meet people,and the 9th house shows a person's desire to constantly learn and develop.Jupiter square Sun also indicate to us the desire of a person to develop(but a little in a negative sense).They are competitive and a bit of a gambler.They respect themselves and appreciate their merits and sometimes it is difficult for them to accept criticism.

I consider Saturn trine MC to be one of the best positions for a career.Saturn,though strict,loves the field of work(MC is responsible for this),so it isn’t a pity to give him several opportunities for a good career.Remember the times of Nickelodeon,don’t underestimate them,because they brought considerable popularity to her,although they were not associated with music.Here Saturn gave her the opportunity to gain a little fame.Saturn in the second house and Saturn square Pluto force you to be a perfectionist in the field of Pisces,that is,music and creativity.Remember her shows and how she and her team carefully prepare for them.Also,this situation is often found in people who often take on someone else's fault.

Uranus and Neptune in the first house make her stand out.She has a photogenic appearance,interesting images and style.Also,such positions bring sensitivity,empathy and a rich inner world.Uranus square Neptune make her be honest,a little moody and intuitive.She is interested in politics,society and a bit of astrology(during Cancer season,she posted posts about it in stories).I've noticed that people who made some major changes somewhere had Uranus sextile Pluto or Neptune sextile Pluto.Remember her albums,which are filled with their own atmosphere and their own era,vocals and a style of voice that can’t be confused with anyone.She made a big contribution to the pop industry and made it more sincere and unusual.

Pluto sextile ascendant forces her to also be active in the affairs of society(notice how many provisions say this?).She is interested in the topic of magic,money,personal growth and is very curious and inquisitive.Scorpio is at home(in Pluto),so it plays an important role.You know how famous Scorpios are for their stubbornness,love of success and power,and since he is in the 10th house,this is another position that indicates success.In a recent interview,she said that she doesn’t set herself boundaries or specific goals,she just wants to develop her creativity every day.

Lilith in the second house indicates that a person in a previous life was careless about his money and property,so in this life he should invest and protect his money.Often the sign in the 2nd house indicates exactly how a person should invest them.In this case,the Pisces are in the second house,so Ariana had to invest in creativity and music.She creates great shows,gathers a huge team of professionals and spends a huge amount of money for music.But don’t forget that later this amount is returned to her in a much larger amount.That's about how Lilith works in the second house.Simply put,"The more money and labor you put in,the more you get back".

Thank you for reading this! Write if you have similar provisions.Love ❤

[f0xfordcomma]

Hi. I'm sending this to writers who've written things I really liked. What turns you off a fic that you started reading and liking? What is it that happens for you that makes you say Nope, done with this and never come back to it? Looking for feedback but don't want to attach my name. Thanks.

Hi anon!

First of all, thank you so much for reaching out! I can't believe you've read and liked my stuff, that means so so much! <3 <3

This is a tricky question to answer because I think that it really depends on a lot of factors for me:

I'd say first and foremost, when searching for a fic, there are certain ships I generally gravitate towards (kataang, maiko, sukka, the lovesquare in miraculous ladybug) but I also really really enjoy reading gen and fics that dive more deeply into character analysis. In that vein, I think a big thing for me is making sure that the characters are, well, *in character.* I like canon ships because they just make sense to me and seeing my faves with non-canonical partners just feels OOC and I have a hard time buying in to the story, even if in every other aspect, it is well-written.

This, as with most things in fandom, can be pretty subjective though. The way I interpret a character might be different than the way someone else does, and they have every right to interpret the characters as such. I may not see Azula as REALLY being a 400 ft tall purple platypus-bear with pink horns and silver wings, but I am not going to disparage anyone their reading of her in that way (but I probably will click away from it if I stumble across it.)

Another thing that I do have a hard time with once I've started a fic is the tone of the writing and the grammatical style. If its a shorter fic that I like the concept of, I can still get pretty invested and see it through to the end, even if its not the most well-written. I really want to give all fic writers, regardless of skill level, the benefit of having their stories read so that they can continue to grow as writers.

Sometimes, though, especially with longer fics that I am going to be spending more time reading, if in the first couple of chapters I have a hard time following the writing style, I will click away. I read fic, in large part, for escapism and immersion and I sometimes have a hard time getting immersed in a world that I want to take a red pen to.

The awesome thing about fandom, though, is that everyone (in my experience) is really friendly and we all just want to encourage one another in our creative endeavors. Beta readers are an awesome feature of fandom and I would absolutely encourage anyone who is nervous about posting a fic or just wants a second set of eyes on their work to seek out a beta reader. It's easy to have your eyes glaze over when you're looking at the words you've written and read over dozens of times. A fresh perspective can not only catch mistakes and improve clarity, it's also a great way to build a stronger friendship with someone in fandom you may have been wanting to get to know better!

On that note, too, as I have gotten more involved with fandom, and as my irl life has gotten a bit busier, I find that I am generally a lot more likely to spend my designated fic reading time on reading a fic that one of my friends has written. So! I know its super duper scary (I cringe at how nervous I was when I first joined fandom) but don't be afraid to reach out to people or participate in a fandom event. (I didn't find my foothold in fandom until I wrote for Kataang week this past summer, and now I've found some phenomenal friends and my favorite writers!) The way that fic fosters community is such a beautiful thing. At the end of the day, we're all a bunch of big ol' dorks just out here making art about ~blorbo from our shows.~ Not so intimidating, when you think about it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ultimately, keep making what makes you happy. Imo its way more important to write what you love than to worry about the number of hits or comments you get on a fic (although man oh man is that stuff a cherry on top!) I believe that your passion for what you do will show in the work you create, so keep it up anon!

And genuinely, don't hesitate to reach out again for more advice/ beta-ing/ to rec your own fics/ general banshee noises about your favorite characters or an HC that makes you happy. I live for that kind of stuff.

Hope my rambling was helpful!! Thanks again for the ask :)

[jcisthebestfightme]

BJYX Song #2: Nan Hai (Boy)

BJYX Song Series List

Okay dd, I promised I will write Nan Hai for you so here we go.

Disclaimer: My own thoughts only. I overthink. Don’t take this seriously.

This song is so complicated to analyze because dd changed the lyrics multiple times. I initially didn’t believe in the lyrics changing thing but I went back to watch the videos carefully and if you look at his mouth’s shape, the lyrics are definitely changed. And “ending CAN be changed” is super clear, which mean it’s not completely delusional to think he changed “thinking of you” to “meeting you”.

I think I will start with the original lyrics but also talk about why he changed the lyrics at where he did. 

曾经意外 他和他 相爱 (Once upon a time, by accident, he fell in love with her/him)

在不会 犹豫的时代 (In a time where people to do hesitate [to fall in love])

To me, the “accident” refers to love at first sight. We know that dd claims to fall in love at first sight and many clues (similar WB post, asking for wechat, handgun etc.) points to dd at least being attracted to gg at first sight. I think for “Nan hai” to fit, we must subscribe to the 2017 meeting love at first sight theory. The reason being dd singing this song first on 3/30/2018, which is 2 days after knowing he will play LWJ but before he got to know gg personally. It’s also possible he already likes this song and then later realize it fits gg and gave it to him. But then that means he’s thinking of someone else when he loves this song so much. And then he gave this song to gg? Wouldn’t he betraying that other person when he willing, unprompted gave the song to gg? This is why I stand the 2017 love at first sight. 

The “accident” can also be referring to falling in love or being attracted with a guy. It’s definitely not very conventional and for dd who was only 19 when meeting gg, it must’ve been a surprise. This theme also carries on to the next line, “in a time where people don’t hesitate”. I think this also points to homosexuality in this context because it’s talking about a time where people are more open. The original lyrics probably just refers to people being more open to dating in modern times. 

以为明白 (I thought I understood)

所以爱得痛快 (So I loved very straightforwardly)

一双手 紧紧放不开 (A pair of hands, unwilling to let go)

I’m under the assumption that gg and dd did not actually stay in contact after meeting in 2017. The reason being that if adding the WeChat is true, then it’s also true they said in an interview that they already added WeChat and never talked. If they did talk, they would try to hide this fact and not mention the already being friends on WeChat at all. With that in mind, I think this part of the lyrics that original is describing a past relationship that he can’t let go of doesn’t fit our story in March 2018. We can only say that dd may be referring to his naiveness and that he “thought he understood” love so he’s more straightforward about his love. “A pair of hands unwilling to let go” may be about how he’s not willing to let go of gg, thus being persistent.

In summer 2019 when dd mentions this song again, dd may be talking about his initial bluntness when approaching gg. We can see in the bts how obvious he is about his adoration. But over time, he probably learned that love is more than just telling the other person. Because of their status and environment, they often have to hide their love so it can no longer be as straightforward so it was in the beginning. But even then, he’s still unwilling to let go of gg. 

心中的 执着与未来 (The persistence and future in my heart)

In March 2018, the “persistence” matches with dd’s persistence to try to get close to gg. He was persistent about getting the role of LWJ, putting in his picture twice and then auditioning in person. The “future” refers to the unknown that will come with filming CQL. In summer 2019, the “persistence” is his willingness to keep fighting for their relationship even though it’s hard. The “future” at this point has more longevity and is about them spending their life together.

忘不了 你的爱 (I can’t forget your love)

但结局难更改 (But the ending cannot be changed)

The original lyrics here is the singer who already broke up with his lover and is reminiscing about their love. He’s sad that he cannot change their ending. In March 2018, dd is probably referring to not being about to forget gg even though they only met briefly. When he sang this song on 3/30/18, he changed “cannot” to “can”. He knew that he will be playing LWJ already so he’s changing his own ending by pursuing this role. Not surprise our little lion cub has decided to take destiny into his own hands and change a tragic ending into a happy one.

In ttxs recording in July, 2019, “忘不了 你的爱 (I can’t forget your love)” is the line that he purposefully wrote, and then looked at gg right afterwards. This means that this is the line that stuck out to him the most at this point in time. He’s telling gg that he will remember their love for the rest of their life. Compare this to June 2018 where when prompted to sing the song, he chose to sing the first line “曾经意外 他和他 相爱 (Once upon a time, by accident, he fell in love with her/him)”. At that point, their love is just the beginning of the story and it’s more just dd falling for gg. Now in 2019, their relationship has developed into not being able to forget each other. 

我没能把你留下来 (I couldn’t make you stay)

更不像他 能给你一个 期待的未来 (Unlike him/her, who could give you a expected future)

那幼稚的男孩 (That childish boy)

The original meaning of going through a breakup doesn’t fit again. But I think the second line refers to homosexuality. Dd feels like he can’t give gg an “expected future” because of their gender. Here, I think he’s coming himself to a girl, any girl, that can give gg what others may call a “complete, happy family.” 

He can also be insecure about his age. Since he’s much younger, he’s not sure what kind of future he can give gg. The “childish boy” refers to himself. Dd has always been insecure about his age compare to gg, evident whenever gg calls him a “kid”. (Fun fact: “That boy with a mole” is a homophone here so people joke he’s actually referring to gg.)

你的关怀一直随身携带 (Your caring, I bring it with me everywhere)

无人的地方再打开 (I open it [the caring] only when no one is already)

Here, I think it’s amazing that dd may not have known gg well at that point but can already tell he’s a very caring person. And in my own opinion, I think gg’s meticulous care for dd is what makes dd falls hard for him. 

想问你现在 (I want to ask if right now)

是否忧伤不再 (you are no longer sad)

像躺在阳光下的海 (Just like the ocean under the sun)

像用心涂抹的色彩 (like colors painted with love)

让你微笑起来 勇敢起来 (Let you smile again, brave again)

Here, there are coincidental reference to gg: painted colors because is an artist and smile because gg has a beautiful smile.

On dd’s birthday in 2019, gg was in Abu Dhabi and he posted an image of the ocean on instagram. The photo was time stamp at 17:52, which is 1:52pm in Abu Dhabi. If you on QQ, the time at “1:52” of “Nan Hai” is the “just like ocean under the song”. I can just imagine gg, looking at the ocean on dd’s birthday, thinking of him, thinking of his favorite song and taking a photo of it and sharing it. It’s definitely something I would do but would be too afraid no one will understand. And gg is known to do this, as pointed out by his solo fans. He timestamp a song lyrics from the album Kepler for his fans (see Analysis of Blue Sky White Cloud.)

想你就现在 (Thinking of you now)

想你 每当我又徘徊 (Thinking of you whenever I waver/wonder)

This is the part dd changed from “thinking” to “meeting” when he sang this song (4/2), the day before meeting gg for the first time on set (4/3). This is like fate has given him a second chance of meeting. To me, the way he sang this part is full of gratitude and unwillingness to let go of this love again. 

所有遗憾的 都不是未来 (All regrets are in the past, they are not conducive for our future)

所有爱最后都难免 逃不过伤害 (All love will have some inevitable pain)

不必再重来 (It doesn’t need to be repeat)

This part gives me a lot of hope. The original lyrics is trying to use this part to let go of this past relationship and move on. However, I think to dd, it means that they have a bright future ahead of them that he’s not willing to let go. In 2019, it can mean that whatever pain/misunderstanding they may have in the past year, they will move on to the future together. What is interesting is that the third line doesn’t specify “they.” Is it the “pain” that cannot be avoided or the “love” that they shared that should not be repeated? I think the original song’s meaning is the past love but for ggdd, it’s the any pain in their journey. 

现在我只希望疼痛来得更痛快 (Right now I just want the pain to come faster)

反正不能够重来 (Since [this love] cannot be redone)

In the original song, this ending implies that the singer has decided to wrap up this relationship with a nice bow and let go of it completely since he has determined they will not get together. What about ggdd? Their love hasn’t/can’t/won’t end, right? So what did dd do when he sang this song in April, 2018? He didn’t sing these two lines at all! He left the recording right before when this will come up in the song. He basically sang the whole song (the beginning was cut off but it seems like he was singing before the clip started) but left right before the very end. Why? Is it because he knows this love is not going to be in the past? Is it because he’s unwilling to ever let go of it?

You can argue that maybe he stop singing because he forgot the lyrics or that his throat was hurting (you can see him cough afterwards.) However, he was already lip-syncing some parts towards the end of the bridge. He could’ve continue to do so until the song ends, which is what people would logically do since it’s almost over. Probably my own delusional thinking again LOL

This is probably the most complicated analysis I’ve ever done since dd sang it during multiple time points and he changed the lyrics. But after writing this, I believe in their love even more, especially if you think about when and why he chose to sing certain parts and leave out others. Overall, I think this song is dd feeling insecure about his age and gender to be able to give gg a stable future. There’s definitely pain in this song but also a lot of love. Dd, you are the most passionate “nan hai” and will be loved by the passionate “nan hai.”

[thewraith8]

Shadow and Bone Netflix Show - Brief Analysis

In this post I am going to break down the things I liked, the things I did not like, and just a general overview of my thoughts on the Shadow and Bone Netflix show. This is coming from someone who has read the Shadow and Bone trilogy about three years ago, the Six of Crows duology about a year ago, and has just recently watched the show when it premiered. I am a big fan of the duology and I did find the trilogy decently enjoyable at the time that I read it. 

I would like to preface this by saying that, as this is an overview, I will not be going into a lot of detail with regards to every scene. I may do something like that in future posts where I discuss each scene or character separately but this is more of a general overview. I would also like to clarify that I will not be addressing anything super in depth about the racism in the show as I am not very educated on the topic. I know that a lot of people have many different views on it and as someone who is Asian, my personal view is that it was fine. Some pieces of dialogue would occasionally feel a little forced but I personally do not believe it was a bad idea to make Alina a mixed race character. I know sometimes it can really feel like the producers and writers are trying to be diverse by adding POC to the cast and having the character face some form of discrimination every other scene but this show did not feel like it was pushing it super hard. There was so much else going on in the show that I did not mind those few scenes where they did address racism. 

So this is going to be divided into three parts. The first is production quality. The second is casting, acting, and character portrayals. And third is the writing and storytelling. So now let’s get into it.

Production quality: 

This was one of the biggest things I feared would be terrible about the show and would greatly impact my opinion of it because in a visual medium it is very difficult to get past bad visual effects, sets, etc. I knew it would be the first thing I would notice upon starting the show and I was very pleasantly surprised to see that money was clearly spent in the production with the incredible effects, costumes, props, set designs, and cinematography. I will say I am not educated on the subject of filmmaking and cinematography but from the little I do understand I think it was done very well.

There were also certain aspects I noticed when comparing the filming of scenes between the two storylines.  Mal and Alina’s scenes such as when they are writing letters to each other or when we get flashbacks of them at the orphanage, are more slow and soothing almost like gentle waves swaying back and forth on a beach. Their voices and dialogue are also soft and warm and this really gives a good sense of their relationship and dynamic. In contrast, when you look at scenes involving the crows, the filming is a lot quicker and snappier and things are generally more fast paced. Their dialogue, which involves a lot of banter or back and forths, is also great in showing their dynamic as well as their own individual character. 

Moving on to set designs and costumes, I think these were done really well. The throne room of the Little Palace was almost exactly as I had imagined it to look and the palace in general with the rooms and hallways did appear to be high quality. The Fold was also very well done though something I found a little strange was the occasional bursts of lightning in the sky. I think that sort of defeats the purpose of it being this completely dark place. Other than that it was exactly as I would imagine it to look. Ketterdam was also exactly as I imagined it to be with the dark alleys and dingy streets. With regards to the costumes, I think they were beautiful. Alina’s costumes in particular were really well done. I loved the way they did her hair and make up in certain scenes like when they go through the Fold that last time. The Keftas that the Grisha wore were incredible and accurate to the books with the different colours of each for the different kinds of Grisha. The crows’ costumes were also exactly what I imagined each of them to look like and felt really connected to their characters. Overall I think the set designs and costumes were fantastic.

All in all I would give production a 9.5/10. 

2. Casting, acting, and character portrayals:

Casting was also one of my fears for this show since the characters for me are the most important part of any story and if the cast is not good then the characters will not come across in the best way possible. I was once again so pleasantly surprised with the actors and actresses chosen for each role. I was worried about cringy acting as well and I am so glad there was no point at which I was cringing at any of the acting. The actors all appeared to have great chemistry and it came across wonderfully on screen. I’m going to briefly go through each of the main characters and the actor or actress that plays them and my thoughts on the acting and character portrayals alone. Later in the thrid section of this long post I will talk about each character with regards to how they were written.  

Alina: I personally believe Jessie Mei Li played a perfect Alina Starkov. She really gave off the vibe of being this important figure, a Sun Summoner, without it feeling annoying or as though she knows she is the main character of the story. I think her acting and expressions were generally well done. 

Mal: Though Archie Renaux was not how I imagined Mal to look, I think he did a great job of portraying the character. His interactions with Jessie Mei Li also felt very natural and they definitely had good chemistry. 

Darkling: Again, I think Ben Barnes was the perfect casting for the Darkling and his portrayal of the character was very well done. There were times where he would get teary eyed when talking to Alina and I understand that it was part of his character in being manipulative but it looked just a bit weird because crying is just something that almost humanizes him which I think does not fit with the idea and aesthetic of his character. You can still have him be manipulative and appear a victim to Alina without him crying or getting teary eyed. I think he would be able to get that across better with a tragic expression and tone of voice. But overall I think he made a great Darkling.

Kaz: Once again perfect casting with Freddy Carter. And really for this one, props to the directors and others who cast him for this role because this was a diffcult character to get the perfect casting for. Kaz’s character is probably the one that I have the biggest problem with but that has more to do with the writing aspect of his character. With regards to the casting and acting, I think Freddy Carter was amazing. First of all, he looks exactly as I would imagine Kaz to look. Second, his expressions and mannerisms were on point. And third, he had really good chemistry with Amita Suman (Inej) and Kit Young (Jesper). 

Inej: I feel like I keep repeating myself but once again I think this casting was perfect. Amita Suman as Inej just felt very right. Her portrayal of the character was amazing, she looked just as I imagined Inej would, and her chemistry with the other actors was incredible. 

Jesper: Once again great casting with Kit Young as Jesper. He got across that charisma and humour that Jesper is known for extremely well through his expressions and body language. He also appeared to have great chemistry with the rest of the cast. 

Nina: Another great choice to cast Danielle Galligan as Nina. I think she captured Nina’s energy or “vibe” perfectly with her voice and body language. 

Matthias: Calahan Skogman is exactly as I pictured Matthias to look so I think he was a great choice as well. 

Overall I think the casting, acting, and character portrayals in this show were spectacular so I would give it a 10/10.

3. Writing and storytelling/ How it was as an adaptation:

This is, in my opinion, the section with the most issues even though they were very few. 

Overall I think the writing was great. There were a few cliche pieces of a dialogue but those were very few. The dialogue for each of the characters felt natural and never felt out of character. As I mentioned previously, Mal and Alina’s dialogue had a warmth to it and their dynamic of childhood best friends came across really well through their dialogue. It did not feel as though they were trying really hard to have that dynamic. I also think it was a great decision to have the letters they wrote to each other be narration for many of the scenes that we saw them in. This was a great method of really getting across what they were feeling while they were apart and allowing the viewer to empathize with them. On the other hand a similar sort of technique was used with the crows. Whenever they were carrying out some sort of heist or mission, Kaz would be narrating the plan while we were watching it physically play out on screen. The dialogue between the crows was generally good and mostly in character. Their dynamic came across really well in a lot of their banter. 

With regards to the storytelling and as an adaptation, I also think the show did a pretty great job. Alina’s storyline was coherent and had a logical progression from beginning to end, following the major plot beats of the book. The main issue I have with it is that it felt rushed. I think adding an episode or two may really have helped with the pacing. It felt as though Alina learns about her powers and is taken to the Little Palace where she’s conflicted for maybe an episode and then suddenly she feels at home and like she belongs. We barely get to see her training at the Little Palace with Baghra or Botkin or see the development of her friendships with Marie and Nadia as well as with Genya. That part of her arc, which was a major part of it, felt rushed. Other than that I think the show did a good job of getting her from point A to B in a cohesive way.  

The crows storyline, I thought, was incredible because, since I am a big fan of the duology, I loved getting to see the crows and how they were before the events of Six of Crows. I think it was fun seeing their lives in Ketterdam and the way they worked before Nina, Matthias, or Wylan joined them. I was worried about how they would be incorporated in the story and that it would not feel natural but I think the decision to make their goal be to get Alina was a great way to tie them into the main storyline. It made sense with their characters that they would do something like that to get money and it made Alina’s storyline even more interesting. Getting to see interactions between the characters of both the trilogy and duology was one of the best parts of the show for me. Think about it. These were interactions we could only have hoped to see in the books and the show brought that to life and gave us those interactions. The crows’ storyline did feel a little less cohesive than Alina’s but this also made sense with their characters and the mission they had to carry out. There were many parts of the plan that needed to be completed, different heists and side missions, in order for them to reach their end goal which was kidnapping Alina from the Little Palace so it made sense that their storyline was a little less straightforward. Overall I think they had a very interesting and captivating story.

As an adaptation I think the show did quite well. Further down in this post I am going to discuss the major issues I had with the show as part of this section where I am discussing writing, storytelling, and the show as an adaptation. But in general I think the show did well in adapting the characters as well as Alina’s storyline. The crows’ storyline was obviously something that was not taken from the books but something that I could definitely see them doing. I think the show also did a great job of adapting the world and all of its intricacies as well as giving off that atmosphere that you get a sense of when reading the books. I also liked that there were many pieces of dialogue taken straight from the books which really made the characters of the show feel exactly like those of the book. 

Okay, now breaking down the few issues I had:

Kaz’s character: I think if we look at Kaz in the books, we can break his character down into two parts, the two defining parts:

His intelligence, wit, and strategic mind.

His cruel and brutal nature.

I think the show got both of these wrong on different levels. One of these can be explained while the other cannot. In the show, Kaz is not nearly as intelligent or strategic as he is shown to be in the books. We see on a number of occasions in the show that he has been taken advantage of or that he is not in the upperhand of a situation. I think that is a major change from his character in the book where one of the things you remembered about Kaz was how he was always ten steps ahead of his opponent. But this is an issue that can be explained and given depth by considering that the crows’ storyline in the show takes place prior to the events of Six of Crows and that at this point in time, Kaz hasn’t become that quick-witted, mastermind, strategist we know him to be in the books. We can see the beginnings of that character in the way he is portrayed in the show and can understand that his natural progression would be to the character from the books in the aspect of his intelligence. On the other hand however, there is still the second major part of his character and that part is a little bit of a bigger problem. That has to do with his completely cruel and brutal nature from the books. This was one of his major defining features and was very strongly rooted in his backstory. It was his past with Pekka Rollins and the death of his brother Jordie that brought about this ruthlessness in him. And what made his character so interesting and dynamic was how he was very slowly becoming a more caring person. It was a very slow progression but it was there nonetheless. You could see it in the way he cared for Inej and the rest of the crew. By the end he was still no where near being a gentleman, but there was still a change in him from the beginning to end. This is where I think the show messed up a little and it is an issue that I don’t really think can be resolved. The show made Kaz more soft and kind in nature. He definitely wasn’t entirely nice but you could tell he was a lot nicer compared to his book counterpart. Certain scenes in which he is talking to Inej felt a little too soft in particular the scene in which it almost seems as though he is about to confess something to her when she rushes out of the room and he calls after her. I don’t imagine book Kaz would ever do that. Or when he tells her that no one is like her. These are all moments where he appears to be much softer compared to the Kaz in the books that was cold and cruel. This is also an issue that cannot really be fixed in future seasons because the natural progression for the show then would be that he gets softer then he already is which means we will not get to see the Kaz from the books at all or with any accuracy.  If future seasons do make him exactly as he is in the duology then there will be the issue of it not feeling consistent with the character he was made to be in the shows. However I will end off by saying that even despite his character not being entirely accurate to that of the books, I still very much enjoyed watching every scene he was in and this issue did not ruin the overall experience of the show for me. I think what they did with his character still worked really well with the story, so overall it was not a major issue for me in changing my opinion of the show. 

Nina telling Matthias why she got him imprisoned as a slaver: This I find to be a greater problem that could have so easily been fixed by taking out just a few pieces of dialogue. I think a big part of what made Nina and Matthias’ story so heartbreaking was this pivotal moment when Nina turns him in as a slaver to save his life. And he doesn’t learn the truth until they reunite in the present day of Six of Crows. He spends that time in Hellgate believing that she betrayed him and that she really was the deceitful and dishonest witch he believed her and all other Grisha to be. Then when he finally does learn the truth, it is this big moment and then he has a slow progression to eventually believing it. The show eliminated the entire part of what made their story so tragic by having Nina tell him the truth of what happened immediately after she has him captured. So there is no possibility of this slow journey that Matthias has of accepting that truth. In the show he almost seems mean now for not believing or at least trying to believe what Nina tells him. Overall this is probably one of my biggest gripes with the whole show.

The Darkling creating the Fold: Another issue that could quite easily have been fixed is how the Darkling created the fold. The show made it to be that he came across a small slip of paper, he read what was on it, and then he gained the ability to create the Fold. That is too simple of an explanation for how something as grand as the Shadow Fold was created. I think this could have rather easily have been fixed so that even if it was still easy it wouldn’t be as easy as just happening upon a slip of paper. They could have done it by showing a montage of him looking through all the books in the archive and figuring out that there is some sort of code that he needed to put together and when he does piece it together and perform some sort of ritual, then he gains this ability to create the Fold. That would have made it more believable and the scene would only have been slightly longer than what it was in the show. 

Crows letting Alina escape: This was another issue I had that sort of adds to how they changed Kaz’s character because book Kaz would never have allowed Alina to escape so easily. Even the Kaz in the show would not have been outsmarted by Alina. This was one thing that felt a little out of character for the crows because, fine, I can understand that Alina blinded them for those few seconds with her light and Inej was not in on the plan of capturing her anymore, but how was Alina able to run out of sight so fast that neither Kaz nor Jesper saw where she went. Then on top of that, they aren’t discreet about finding her, as Kaz is always careful to be. Instead they go around the streets describing how she looks and asking people if they’ve seen her. I am not entirely sure what they could have done to solve this issue but I don’t believe the solution was very difficult. Maybe they could have explained through a short piece of dialogue that Alina used her power in a way that blinded them for more than thirty seconds which gave Alina enough time to get out of sight. Whatever the reason, I think this should not have been an issue because, despite seeming small, I think it says a lot about the crows’ characters. And I definitely don’t think this was a bad scene at all because I loved seeing this interaction and seeing Inej’s reaction to Alina. I just think the issue of Alina escaping so easily should have been addressed. 

For now, after watching the show just once, those were the major issues in writing and storytelling that I had with the show. If I have more thoughts about this after watching it again, I will make another post about it. Now I want to talk about some things that the show added that were not in the books and what was changed or kept from the books, that I liked. 

Mal’s character: The change that was made to Mal’s character in the show was probably the biggest and best change that could have been made. One of the major reasons I do not like the Shadow and Bone trilogy anywhere near as much as the Six of Crows duology is the characters. Sure, I found the world and plot interesting when I read the trilogy a few years back and even at times the characters were good, but a lot of the time I was either annoyed with Alina or with Mal. Most of the time it was Mal because he didn’t really feel like he was a great friend to Alina because of the way he treated her for being Grisha. I think a lot of my frustration with him also came from the story being entirely in Alina’s perspective so we never got to see any of what Mal was going through. The times that we did see him, he was either angry at or overly protective of Alina and there were only few occasions where he was being a good friend. The show really changed that with allowing us to see his perspective and all the difficulty and trauma he was going through to be with Alina. The show succeeded in making him an empathetic character and I think that is one of the most necessary things in creating a likeable character. Through his dialogue and actions, we were able to see how much he really cared for Alina. There were never any long stretches of time where he was angry with her or, on the other hand, where he was being overly protective of her. He was continuously being a good and supportive friend and that made the biggest difference in my liking his character. It is also what made me really enjoy Alina’s storyline as well because there was no point at which I found either Alina or Mal or any other character involved in their story, annoying to watch. 

No mourners no funerals: I was overjoyed when this line came up in the show because it is such an iconic line from the duology that I absolutely love and it was great to see it said on screen. Similarly, I was so glad that we also got to see Kaz say the line, “The deal is the deal.” and say it to Alina. 

Interactions between S&B and SoC characters: This was probably one of my favourite things about the show. It really felt like watching two worlds collide. I loved watching Kaz and Inej posing as guards and trying to escort Alina so they can take her. Watching Inej’s reactions to Alina was one of the best things. Then, Mal teaming up with the crows when they are in the Fold was one of the strangest but coolest interactions. Alina giving Inej the knife that she later names Sankta Alina was one of the best interactions I could have hoped for with the crossing of these two casts of characters. And to end it with Alina giving Kaz that valuable piece of jewelry, an interaction I never thought I would see, was incredible. 

Conductor: The addition of this character I think was a great idea. He definitely added to the storyline of the crows and was an interesting character on his own. He was the cause of a lot of the funniest dialogue and moments in the show like when the crows are crossing the fold for the first time. Overall, I think it was a good decision to add him in. 

Now last but not least, the thing that stole the show and beat everything else by far was:

(Drum roll)

Milo the goat!

And with nothing more to say about that, we’ve reached the conclusion of this very long post. My overall rating for this third and last section, which is regarding the writing and storytelling, would be an 8.5/10, a very good score. 

If I were to rate the show over all, I would give it a 9.3/10 because I think it was spectacular in many aspects. The few gripes I did have were not anything too major, though if those aspects were fixed I think this would be a top-tier show and adaptation for me. 

What do you think about everything that I said? Do you agree or disagree? I’d love to have a discussion so feel free to reach out and comment!

[hilli98215]

I am confused. I am hurt. I don’t know what to think. This is a long post. A very long post that is personal but I’ve had it in my head for a while to write. You don’t have to read this. This post has no real meaning. It’s more of a rant of how I feel in the world of fandom, my experiences, and why this posts exists. 

Again, you do not have to read this. 

You have been warned.

DO NOT REBLOG THIS POST!!!! 

When I became an English major in college, I did so knowing several things. One of those is the fact I love literature and I love discovering why authors, creators, and artists wrote what became their most well known work.

Where am I going?

My first fandom was when I was in Junior High (about 13-14 years old) that I was a part of, meaning I read fan fiction and discovered fan art of, was either Naruto or Pokémon. To me these works were escapes of my real confusing life. Especially when I moved states and schools. I had no one. Through this, I discovered what I liked and didn’t like in the world of fiction and was introduced to fandom words/slang such as shipping, fan fiction, lemons (which I don’t think is used as often now), different types of writing, yaoi, yuri, and a few more I can’t remember. This also included the all important phrase Don’t like don’t read. This was when I was in my early teens. 

But I was in a phase where I could find what I found interesting and that was that. 

When I got to high school, I was still this awkward quiet kid with no friends. But I did have marching band so that was something. 

At this point was was interested in Ouran Highschool Host Club, Death Note, a series called Beauty Pop, Fullmetal Alchemist, and a few others. This was also around the time where I began writing fanfiction for OHSC and even began buying manga. Anyway, this was my introduction to fandom as a teenager. And this is before Tumblr.

All I had were my friends, videos on YouTube, and my own interests. No one really understood why I loved all these things. 

Then came the very first fandom I became fully obsessed in my sophomore year: a small series called Hetalia Axis Powers. I was completely invested in this fandom. So much so I wrote fan fiction, bought merch, and read a lot of fan fiction myself. I think it was because, at the time I thought it was because the art style was cute, the voice acting wasn’t half bad and it had to do with history. But this is where things got interesting for me and learning about fandom as a whole. 

As a teen, I hadn’t known about AUs and this series had a lot of them. From the usual school AUs to odd ones. I usually stayed in my bubble and kept up the mantra Don’t like Don’t read. 

But why talk about it?

Well, let’s just say a lot of the content later on became weird and new. I learned a lot about new terms like de-aging and ABO. But this leads to interest which once again let me know what genres of fan fiction I like. 

I continued on with this fandom for about 3 years. And what broke it was the drama and how people were finding a sudden moral compass for personified countries. I mean there are other problems with that show that I recognize now as an adult and didn't see as a kid but that’s for another time. But I quietly left because I was beginning to understand that the drama wasn’t worth a tv show.

I would say the next fandom I was invested in and loved and I think had the least amount of drama was Fairy Tail. Now I fell in love with this series because of the story, characters, and the welcoming fandom. Overall there was rarely any drama because I think we all knew that we had to be civil with each other and respect our ships. While I’m not part of that fandom anymore a lot of people on Tumblr and FFN were very welcoming. The main series kinda fizzled out but that was one of the few positive fandom experiences I had.

I was at that point in my life where I was in college, created my Tumblr and posted regularly to escape life. 

Coming off that fandom, I was part of the Yuri on Ice! fandom from beginning to the end. I mean it’s a sports anime that’s about men's figure skating and how it can affect athletes just to get a gist of it.

That’s when my experience with fandom became interesting because these characters were being paired in a way that made me feel like they can’t be paired with anyone else. Like, there was a pairing we were all cheering for to happen by the end. 

This is the first series I was highly interested in as an adult where the ages of the characters were defined. There were a few in their teens, some in their early to mid 20s, and a couple in their 30s. Now this was a historic anime for several reasons. The main being there being a gay relationship being shown in a positive light and mental illness being shown in a way that wasn’t patronizing and negative. I loved this show for those reasons. But I also quickly learned how people would take these characters (especially those with huge age differences) and pair them up. That was my first introduction to criticism of how ‘gross’ it would be for a 15 year old to be paired up with an 18 year old. But I saw a problem that made me second guess my thinking. When I was in high school, I knew someone who was a sophomore at 15 and dated someone who was 18. Why was there a problem? 

I knew if I voiced this that I would be shamed and told that I was disgusting. Eventually I had enough and left shortly after the series ended.

Then came the Voltron: Legendary Defender series. Oh boy.

Now that series came out while I was in college and I often viewed it in a critical perspective similar to one would a piece of literature because my major was in English and that was what I was taught. Like YOI I was part of this fandom day 1 because it was so different from the original Voltron series from the 80s. I loved how the fandom dissected everything in every episode. There were watch parties, analysis videos, and even skits at conventions. It was a fandom I knew I wanted to be a part of. But then there was fanfiction that I found odd and knew that I never wanted to read that. People were writing about topics that made me uncomfortable and I didn’t know how to deal with it. After a while, I questioned why I was forcing myself to read them in the first place. So, I stopped reading them. This was also around the time where I discovered AO3 and their amazing tagging system. Because if the tagging system was not there, I probably would have stopped reading fanfiction all together.

But then there was drama, shipping wars, morality wars, and I had enough. I was there until it ended and left quietly. Which is sad considering I loved the experience but it was ruined by what people thought was right for fictional characters. 

Now you may be asking “What was the point of this post?”

To answer your question, I don’t know.

I have loved reading since I was a kid. And when I got to high school, I had this AP teacher who told us something that has stayed with me to this day.

‘As a reader we are detectives. We want to know why the author wrote this book. We want to know what influenced them.’

I took that saying to heart and approach everything through a critical lens. Which is difficult in a fandom. It’s hard to have a critical approach to a series that everyone takes for a grain of salt.

I have been exposed to a lot of books and pieces of literature that have been considered controversial because of their content. When I left high school, I began to realize what genres of books I like in the YA genre and in literature. 

I experimented.

And when you think about it, that’s what you do with fan fiction and fandom. We are always experimenting. We are always finding what we like and don’t like. 

But recently I’ve noticed a new fandom term that makes me wonder where I fall in all of this craziness we call fandom. 

Pro-Fiction/Pro-Shipper

It wasn’t until last year I saw this word thrown around in a new fandom I am in. I tried to do some research but I couldn't find anything. Nothing. And then I learned it’s a new term in itself.

I won’t go into detail but it reminds of the ‘video games are violent so that makes so-and-so violent’ argument parents made when Mortal Kombat came out. 

Well you still didn’t answer the question.

And you’d be right. I saw a post from a follower that saddened me and honestly freaked me out. Why announce that you hate a specific group? It felt like a call out post without saying any names. A warning that states: Block me or out yourself. Or rather: Block me or else.

Do I identify as this? To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I think critically and see things differently. In fact everyone does. 

We are always going to be influenced by the media whether it be a movie, television, a book, or a video game. We will always love these storylines and characters. We will always take the messages to heart. We will always cheer for the hero and maybe the villain too. 

I do want you guys to remember this, make your own fandom experience. Block those who make you feel uncomfortable and make you feel like you don’t matter. You do.

You are your own person. No one can tell you otherwise. If you feel uncomfortable, then maybe you need to leave the fandom. Or find a space in the fandom that you can be yourself. Or don’t care what people think and do what you always do.

It’s all up to you.

[mooosicaldreamz]

We obviously need your song by song analysis of evermore please!

i got asked to do this about four times so here it is.....much anticipated. i know. please note that when i say that i hate her or despise her i don’t actually mean that. but i do

EVERMORE

OK LETS GO

WILLOW - ok, groovy first time you hear it, right? has a strong rumbly wiggle. let’s VIBE. the low of the verse, the high of the chorus…oh my goodness! what is she doing. she’s just out there! wow. “wherever you stray i follow” is a banger. “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind” with the overlay oof let’s go.!!!! a shockingly strong first entry of the record…best one since “welcome to new york” maybe!!! let’s just say it!!! for some reason “i come back stronger than a 90s trend” throws me off though…i don’t know. it’s just so moody pop, no one is doing it like her!!! i hate her

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS - every time i listen to this song i listen to it four times. not a joke. it’s perfect. i don’t think i need to convince anyone! it’s perfect!!!!! what are you doing? taylor swift, the most dramatic bitch, has been writing dramatic bitch songs since she was fourteen and yet, somehow, she contrives to write even more dramatic things as she ages. this song is a JOKE. there are not ENOUGH songs about denying proposals! it’s just simple and sad. oh my god. it’s insane. the fact that she wrote this with her boyfriend (i have a running theory that they are married, we are going to refer to joe as her Perfect and Glorious Husband from now on) …… come on. the ENTIRE BREAKDOWN. “YOUR MIDAS TOUCH ON THE CHEVY DOOR / NOVEMBER FLUSH YOUR FLANNEL CURE / THIS DORM WAS ONCE A MADHOUSE / I MADE A JOKE WELL ITS MADE FOR ME / HOW EVERGREEN OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS / DON’T THINK WE’LL SAY THAT WORD AGAIN / AND SOON THEY’LL HAVE THE NERVE TO DECK THE HALLS THAT WE ONCE WALKED THROUGH” ……. concluding with that absolute stabby killer “what a shame she’s fucked in the head” oh my god……….. and the song resolving in a very adult “you’ll find someone else” god

GOLD RUSH - ok so like this song is like ok it’s got the same groovy high /low that’s happening on willow but it’s so different! it’s so good! the pulse of the beat propelling the whole thing through and then the falling apart “oh what must it be like to grow up that beautiful”……………..ok. the visceral image of “my eagles t-shirt hanging from the door” …………. i admire very much taylor’s oncoming gift of moving through high/low imagery…… i love her so much? it’s so HARD. “my mind turns your life into folklore” beautiful! BEAUTIFUL! also i have some belief in me that this is about karlie kloss but i shall not dive into that hole.

TIS THE DAMN SEASON - oh so i’m supposed to LIVE with this song EXISTING. WHY!!!! HOW……..oh my god………..taylor was like, yes, i’m going to write a song about a famous girl going home and banging her high school flame for a week and jack and aaron were like oh ok. “i parked my car between the methodist and the school that used to be ours.” she is such a joke. “you could call me babe for the weekend” like ok emo!! emo!!! OK. I LOVE THIS SONG

TOLERATE IT - taylor really gave us the most depressing track 5, but it’s absolutely a banger and i love her! she is just vibing! oh my god. what a specific emotion to pinpoint with this song….it’s such a gift. no one is hitting this space

NO BODY NO CRIME - this song has no business being on this record but in the BEST WAY, like how daddy lessons mysteriously appears in the middle of lemonade. oh my goodness. this is just pure country revenge song. taylor was like oh actually i haven’t forgotten my roots and i hate men more than i ever have. and she got haim to sing with her. and it’s so good. the low “i think he did it” oh my goodness. this song is a joke. how is it real? it’s just a perfect radio song. it reminds me very much of “before he cheats” but it’s a lot more sonically calm

HAPPINESS - similar to “tolerate it” and i think “champagne problems” this song is beating on an emotional bush that is really really hard to hit the head of. like, so she collabed with the national and bon iver on this record and previous obvi, and i LOVE them, but their music can often be very………impressionistic? perhaps? is how i might put it. it’s sometimes hard to get a note of specificity from it. imo. but taylor loves a fucking story bro. and she has figured out how to tell made up stories. she can’t be stopped now. like…this space of a breakup and knowing that it’s for the best and being sad in this way? name a pop star who has a song this nuanced. for real! god. i despise her. “across a great divide / there is a glorious sunrise”

DOROTHEA - the other half to the far superior TIS THE DAMN SEASON and a banger all the same. it has the bouncy joy of the most buoyant national songs. in the same vein as the also far superior BETTY, she has her sweet dumb boy slurry and less intelligent voice. i love that she paints these narrators this way, it’s just nothing she would have ever reached for ever before this period. she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband now and she has begun to understand teenage boys, FINALLY.

CONEY ISLAND - i have upon many occasions opined that i love the national VERY MUCH. i once went to a festival with my gf and her sister to see them even though i was expressly not invited and you know what despite the fact that it caused a lot of angst, i got to see the national play TERRIBLE LOVE in the middle of the night and I SCREAMED IT. so like, listen. what is matt berninger doing here, to me, specifically????????? i was somewhat hesitant about how their voices might blend, but it works astonishingly well. and i think that it’s so wonderful, i can’t. the imagery of a dreary coney island…..”sorry for not winning you an arcade ring.” as taylor always proves, the bridge is spectacular. “were you standing in the hallway / with a big cake / happy birthday”……”and when i got into the accident / the sight that flashed before me was your face / but when i walked up to the podium / i think that i forgot to say your name” sorry to yOU calvin. she had ISSUES. and now she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband. also “sorry for not making you my centerfold” ok kaylor

IVY - this song is about emily dickinson and i DARE you to tell me that i’m wrong. I DARE YOU. I DARE YOU. you’d be wrong! embarrassing for you. taylor finally writing a probably legitimate queer song and it’s about fucking emily dickinson is so on brand…..it’s dripping with poetry and groove and she’s so fucking dumb i hate her so much. her narrative of ivy and poetry and the lakes district…….ok taylor. i know. i know you watched all the dickinson things that came out and you identified with her. the gentle sway of the “oh, goddamn” and the “oh, i can’t”……i CAN’T EITHER TAYLOR !!! i CAN”T TAYLOR!!!! “oh goddamn / my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / taking mine but it’s been promised to another / oh i can’t / stop you putting roots in my dreamland” TAYLOR. and then she says, “oh you didn’t realize this wasn’t gay?” “i want to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed” like @ emily yourself taylor “he wants what’s only yours”……TAYLOR. give me the entire catalogue of emily dickinson songs!!!!! i can’t do this. “springs breaks loose / but so does fear” “i’d live and die for moments that we stole / on begged and borrowed time / so tell me to run / or dare to sit and watch what we’ll become / and drink my husband’s wine.” taylor if you see this post, a, i love you, b, i need you to tell me about ivy, and c, PLEASE can i have tickets to your next tour in the year 2025 or whenever because my gf never buys me any to your shows……….i love this song if it isn’t clear. i think i’d love it if it wasn’t gay

COWBOY LIKE ME - ok this will sound weird and if you’ve read this far i’m going to assume that you don’t care about me being weird…but this song reminds me of the fanfiction STAY THE NIGHT by lynnearlington (maybe u’ve heard of it). please reply if you think about this and feel the same. “never wanted love / just a fancy car” “you had some tricks up your sleeve / takes one to know one / you’re a cowboy like me” the opening line re: the tent-like thing reminds me very strongly of the fourth of july at our family’s country club and they set up a tent over the parking lot and this song just makes me think of that vibe????? i don’t know. i have vibes. i love this song a lot, which is impressive because it follows after the gay euphoria of IVY. perhaps this is because it gives me its own gay euphoria. “now you hang from my lips like the garden babylon” ???? is one of the most gay, seductive, brutal lyrics i have ever heard. she wrote that down and was like, oh yeah, vibez, hundo p. she did that to me

LONG STORY SHORT - this song is an honorary sequel to I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED from the lover era (honestly i’m still in the lover era). but i actually think this song is better! so we are taking that. “actually i’ve always thought that i looked better from the rearview” ok taylor let’s access that feeling! “no more keeping score / i just keep you warm” is like, stupidly sweet.  rip to calvin but now taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband.

MARJORIE - made me cry, simple and beautiful. one of the more personal songs on the tracklist! and something that i had never considered that she would write about, but i think the quarantine period has allowed a lot of us to dig into our feelings, so….vibez. we’re vibing!

CLOSURE - this song’s production sounds a lot like bon iver’s recent productions, very tech-y and repetitive and spare. rip to karlie kloss but taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband and karlie’s legal last name is kushner so who really won? hmm? i love “i’m fine with my spite / and my tears / and my beers / and my candles” the inclusion of candles is just. vibez. there are four candles lit rn in our apartment!

EVERMORE - i think this song is very intriguing and i’m still puzzling with it! the simplicity of her depressive gray November phase and then the very ebullient and bold bon iver interlude……..really has a manic/depressive, sad/angry vibe???? it feels so on brand for this pandemic quarantine…..and it works shockingly well, except for that i’d rather listen to the bon iver part for 10 minutes more. “all my waves are being tossed / is there a line that i can just go cross” and then taylor’s sort of call and response with his interlude……should just be the whole song.  but it’s still good. that’s how annoying she is